Contrast

At this time last year, I was planning & re-planning my Thanksgiving meal for 20 (plus). I was researching pretty details that would make my guests feel special. I created time-lines, critiqued recipes, crafted handmade invitations, and wrote out grocery lists. I posted about some top traditional recipes. I tried to ignore my husband's incessant teasing about thinking that I might be pregnant. As an almost afterthought, I purchased a pregnancy test along with all my Thanksgiving groceries.

It all seems like it was yesterday.

I feel like I have lost an entire year of my life. The last 365-ish days feel blurry, except for some details that just don't seem to fade. And as I sit at the same desk, in the same chair, typing away at the same keyboard to post on the same blog about the same holiday, things feel like anything but the same.

And so, even though we are planning on having a few guests here in just one week's time, I have planned not a single detail. Nothing. Nada. A stark and revealing contrast to just one year ago. And at times, when considering the current state of my life, I don't feel very thankful, which makes a holiday called 'Thanksgiving' seem...not appropriate. But God is gracious to continually point me towards small things to be thankful for. I guess, at the very least, I can be really thankful that I did so much research last year and posted on this very blog! I even saved all my Thanksgiving notes and plans into handy dandy Microsoft Word files, which I might add, I have never done in the past.

Thank God for planning ahead.

Even if I didn't know what I had coming.

How are your Thanksgiving plans coming along? Any great Thanksgiving websites/blog posts I should check out?

Looks Like Fall!

Took me long enough, eh? I just didn't feel like decorating, but after much pestering from my eldest daughter, we finally put up all our fall things. It really is my favorite season. We don't celebrate Halloween around these parts so I try to focus on pumpkins, leaves, and other 'harvest' decor for our home.

They probably won't be up for very long since Christmas is right around the corner. Eeeek!

What DOES he do, anyway?

Whenever someone asks what my husband 'does', as in, what job he holds, I laugh. We both do, actually. It happened again last night, as it is an inevitable question when meeting new people. I usually say, "That's a very good question." Maybe when the next person asks what he 'does', I should say, "Whatever it takes."

So, for any inquiring minds out there, I want to answer that question and also update our situation. The simple answer is that the Husband has his own business (corporation). The business would fall under the broad category of 'logistics'. That has included dump truck dispatching, dump truck driving, and most recently, heavy machinery staffing. He has also looked for side jobs, donated his plasma for money, and previously worked overnights for my step-dad driving a sweeper-truck. We have just been going where God directs and pleading that we would hear His voice, that He would make our paths straight, that we would plan, but that ultimately He would guide. It is a really rewarding, yet difficult place to be. The Husband has applied for 'regular' jobs both out of fear and out of faith. We continually ask ourselves the question, "Is having our own business what God wants for us right now?" And even though I dislike the answer many times, we have both felt Him repeatedly say 'Yes'.

Of course this all could change as He sees fit. I have learned to let go of the notion that if the Husband had a regular, full-time, ample money-making job, that my life would then be perfect. Easier? Maybe. We would have missed out on so much quality time together, especially in this last year, when He knew exactly what we needed. As of late, I tell the Husband that I wish we were independently wealthy so that we could just live life together on a daily basis. Because we just love being together. I am not a wife who is chronically annoyed from having her husband underfoot. I have adjusted to having him around and I love it.

All that to say that this last contract our business had (which was also our first BIG one) has just finished up and lo-and-behold, God has provided a temporary driving job for the Husband, which is to last for the next five weeks. He started on Monday! As I was talking to God & saying my 'Amens!' and 'Hallelujahs!', He impressed something specific on my heart: I should not feel relieved.

Yes.  

Not relieved.

Becuase if I really believe that 'it all comes from Him' then this temporary job is just another form of His provision. I shouldn't be trusting in the duration of the job, but in the One who supplied it. My faith should not be in the author of a paycheck, but in the Author of Life.

I do admit that I am breathing a little easier. I will miss not having Hubs around as much and having to manage the household and my three blessings mostly on my own. But I'm sure I'll get used to it. Those first few corkscrew turns and plummeting dives that this employment roller coaster has taken were totally unpleasant and downright scary. After being on this ride for some time though, I am learning that I am safe inside my coaster car and that I can trust the track.

Because as topsy-turvy as this track can be, I know the One who designed it.

More blessed than I deserve,

No-schooling Week!

We survived another 5 weeks of homeschooling and so, our reward? One week off! 

Highlights included:

* a morning of bowling using free bowling game coupons from specially marked boxes of Tony's pizza. I just paid for the girls' shoe rental and the nice man behind the counter let them bowl a second game for free! Praise God for small surprises.

* lunch with some friends after bowling, including some Corn Chowder from my freezer & store bought french bread

* two evenings of fires in our fireplace. Me knitting on the floor in front of the fireplace. The girls chillin'. The Husband playing his guitar. Our son pointing repeatedly to the fire. One night included Dad's famous special rap-song reading of Llama, Llama Red Pajama.

* Planning of the next 5 weeks of school. Planning math is the hardest part because of all the different workbooks & extra exercises that Tatiana needs to cement the skills. I am so excited to start our study of the 50 states & start filling up our U.S. Notebook.

* Organizing of our homeschooling cupboard and Sienna's school box. It was looking quite the mess! Buried in the piles, I found some Mad Libs Jr. that I can add to Tatiana's English lessons. Sweet. I had to actually write it into our lesson plans. I find that if it something isn't actually planned, it doesn't get done.

All tidied up!

* Pre-tracing some cutting & gluing activities for Sienna from Cut & Create for All Seasons.

Activities traced & ready to assemble.

* Drooling over the Book of Days at Blue Yonder Ranch. I could never get the Friday nature walks to gel into our routine. Maybe this is a solution? Fridays were supposed to be 'light schooling' days with nature walks and art lessons. The art lessons just weren't a good fit either. I am replacing them with weekly activities from Home Economics for Girls. I was able to purchase this book used for a song this last week and I can't wait to get it!

  

And th-th-th-that's all folks!

Future Executive

Busily at his desk.

Practicing writing memos?

Or love notes to his wife?

Judging from his attire, it was apparently 'casual Friday'.

Just In Case

It was a Thursday and my brother was visiting. He rarely ever visits. Holidays mostly. But he had some things to bring me on behalf of my grandma, so he was spending part of the morning with us. I put our homeschool lessons on hold, just so that we could visit and enjoy each other's company. My brother, like me, has had a rough year. We both were in need of our faith to be strengthened, I just never thought that the strength God would send was coming via the United States Postal Service.

I'm sure this story began several years ago, although I'm not exactly sure when. A young couple out West purchased a supplemental medical insurance policy. You know, just in case. {I don't think we ever plan on using just in case, do we?} Fast forward to this summer and you will find that their firstborn daughter was born too early. At a little over one pound, she spent many days in the NICU. And that just in case insurance policy came into effect. They actually were paid money for every day that their daughter spent in the hospital.

I had followed their journey through the NICU, encouraging them as I could. I don't actually remember who found who, but we stumbled upon each other, nonetheless. I now realize that it was God, writing our stories so that our chapters would overlap. My anonymous friend had wanted to do something with the extra funds they had accumulated from their daughter's hospital stay, she just didn't know who to give it to, until she read my recent post on my family's financial struggles and God spoke to her. She then asked if she could send me something.

Please God, let that something not be money. I mean, receiving graciously when you are in need is one thing. But money from a perfect stranger?

I steeled myself against the thought that maybe my friend would send me $25 or $50. I felt humbled at the mere thought. And then came that Thursday, I opened the package in front of my brother; a journal was inside. Phew. And then, there it was. A check, paper-clipped to the inside of the journal. As I quickly scanned it, I could see that the amount is was written for included a comma. What?! The actual amount really doesn't matter; suffice it say that it was for considerably more than the $25 I was feeling humbled about. I could not contain my shock and had to read the letter she had written out loud to my brother, the rest of the mail on the floor in the middle of my living room.

I am still shaking my head. 

The part that stands out is when she says that she thinks God gave my portion to her, so that she could deliver it to me and that she and her husband were faithful to do as God prompted them. At the end of the note, my brother pumps his fist in the air and declares, "See! God provides!" I'm not sure any eloquent explanation could say it any better than that.

Although I have said it on many occasions, both to myself and to others, that "It all belongs to and comes from Him", I fail to actually believe it sometimes. And so He chooses to use some amazing circumstances to remind me and hopefully, to remind anyone else who reads this. How intricate His plan is. How extraordinary it feels to be a part of His story. How it really does all come from Him.

How many of next month's bills will be paid because of an insurance policy that was purchased years ago, just in case.

Amazed,

Frozen

Remember the old me? The crafty, sewing, baking me? She's still around here somewhere, it's just that she doesn't come out to play as often as she used to. This, though, is one of those times! Let's talk about all the goodies that I've been putting in the freezer....

Firstly, I'd like to say that sometimes cooking in my kitchen is like being on one of those FoodNetwork challenge shows. You know, the ones where the contestants are given some 'mystery basket' full of items and asked to use them in a dish? What with the gifts of various groceries from family and friends or the donations of someone cleaning out their pantry, sometimes the name of the game is trying to use up what I've got, but I think I've been up for the challenge! Lasagna Spirals was one of those recipes. I loved this idea of individually portioned servings of lasagna and it freezes beautifully!

One of my stand-by recipes is Taco Meat . That recipe is nearly similar to the one I use, except that I make my own taco seasoning packet, and really only try to make it when I can find the ground beef on sale for about 99-cents a pound. Did you know that if you rinse your ground beef, even if it started out as the fattiest cut (let's say 70/30) it will be leaner than even one of the leanest cut you can buy?! I just told my 83-year-old grandma about that little trick the other day. Since I was feeling adventurous, in this last batch I used some store-bought Habanero Salsa. The taco meat is so scorching spicy, I think we'll have to eat about 20% meat, 40% sour cream and 40% cheese in each taco! Better than throwing it away, I 'spose.



Another family favorite is Swiss Chicken. The recipe I've always used has white cooking wine in place of the water/broth & I just usually use whatever condensed soup I have on hand or that someone has given us. I bought a big bag of seasoned stuffing on clearance awhile back & have been using it for this recipe ever since. A bit of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter in place of the real butter helps to lower the calorie content too.


A new recipe that I tried last weekend was these Jalapeno Cheddar Scones. I served them with some easy homemade Chili (destined for the freezer!) and they were super delish. A friend just happened to have some jalapenos on her kitchen counter, so I helped myself to a couple. I froze a few of the scones and passed on a few to a friend with a new baby. These are so yummy and are a great change-up from my usual cornbread-with-chili menu. Next time, I'm making a bigger batch! The blog that this recipe came from is a MUST READ. I have been away for far too long & look forward to drooling on my keyboard catching up with all the yummy recipe goodness. ( I think next week, on our week off of school, we will be diving into some of these Apple Cider Donuts!)

And I've saved the best for last. I have successfully frozen little patties of cookie dough from the recipe The Whole Jar of Peanut Butter Cookies. I *love* being able to whip out a homemade dessert on a moment's notice. We are able to have a tasty treat after supper on many occasions, since the dough is already prepared. I think a nice homemade sweet treat also makes us all feel special, regardless of our severely reduced income and grocery budget. I simply follow the recipe, chill the dough, use a cookie scoop to portion out, dip a fork in sugar to make the classic criss-cross design, then flash freeze and bag up. Bake 'em at 350° F for 13 minutes. Or, you could just eat them straight out the freezer, with your husband,  and the freezer door still wide open, pretending that this-is-perfectly-normal-since-they-do-sell-ice-cream-with-cookie-dough-in-it, all the while saying "Mmmm. Mmmm. Good."

Not that I'm saying I've ever done that.

Nope. Not me.

Hope you enjoyed this peek into my freezer. Got any goodies in yours?

Good Ole Ben

Excerpt from Exploring American History about Benjamin Franklin:

 He kept a little book in which he wrote down his faults. If he wasted half an hour of time or a shilling of money, or said anything that he should not have said, he wrote it down in his book. He carried that book in his pocket all his life, and he studied it, as a boy at school studies a hard lesson.

Can you even imagine? I would hate to keep track of my own faults for a day, let alone for my entire life AND to study them. Ever since we read this as part of our History lesson last Monday, it has rattled around in my mind. What would we learn about ourselves if we committed to this practice, even if only for a day? Even though part of me shudders at the thought, the other part of me has been chalking up mental tally marks every time I err or waste something or say the wrong thing. Quite a lesson, I tell ya.

And what did Good Ole Ben learn from this practice? Our history book says that his lessons were three: Do the right thing; do it at the right time; do it in the right way. And honestly, it seems like pretty sound advice. Now that I've read about the lessons he had learned, I am analyzing the things that I do or that others do that just don't seem to be quite right and have found that they usually fit into one of those three categories. Either I did the completely wrong thing or maybe my husband had good intentions but his timing was off or perhaps my friend was trying to do the right thing but her message got lost because of an inappropriate delivery. It's no wonder Ben went on to help pen the Declaration of Independence.

Amazing what God can use when we are listening. Like a third-grader's history lesson about Benjamin Franklin.

If Every Day Were an Aldi Day

It all started with an envelope in the mail.

Inside were two Aldi gift certificates and a card with simple but powerful words: Your heavenly Father knows. Thank you. You know who you are.

And then there was an email from another friend asking if we would like another Aldi gift certificate. Thank you. You know who you are.

Guess God owns some serious shares of Aldi stock!

During my first Aldi run, the man behind me was using a gift certificate, but only had about $15 worth of merchandise for his $25 certificate.

"Sir, I can't give you any cash back and you still have $10 left on the gift certificate."

"Well, I don't want any cash back."

"But Sir, why don't you just go buy yourself some meat or something?"

"Nah...... Hey! Can I just give the lady behind me the rest of the certificate?"

"Uh...." Calls the manager over. "This guy wants to give that lady the rest of his gift card. Can we do that?......No, Sir. We can't do that."

Everyone stands around looking at each other.

Well, I couldn't help myself, now could I?

Me: Well, how about if you just ring up that lady's groceries along with his and just let this guy go on his merry way with his groceries?

The manager smiles. The cashier smiles. The guy smiles. The lady smiles. I smile.

And then I nearly start crying. I guess because I witnessed a simple act of goodness that almost didn't happen. Then, while I was still joyful about that random kindness, as I was loading my groceries into my van, a hippie man came up to me and wanted to take my cart. Upon seeing my 40 lb bag of softener salt, he kindly said, May I? Then proceed to load it up for me.

If every day were an Aldi day, we'd give out of our abundance to those who are in need. We wouldn't need unemployment because those making extra would give generously to those not having enough. We wouldn't buy more just because we could, but we'd pay for the person behind us just because. If every day were an Aldi day, we'd help one another without thinking about how we might be inconvenienced.  

And we'd do it with a smile.

11 and Counting

appropriately subtitled, "How I spent my anniversary"

Just because we are low in the funds department did NOT mean we had to keep our anniversary celebrating to a minimum! Last Friday was the actual anniversary day, which coincidentally, we were also married on a Friday so it was neat to see the days line up perfectly! I loved being able to say "At exactly this time eleven years ago we were.....". I served Lasagna Spirals for our family lunch and was planning on making some Chinese food for the Hubs and I for dinner, but on the spur of the moment, we decided to take our Chinese on the road and share it with some friends.

Remember the days when you were still dating and you would just up and decide to go here-and-there or drop by a friends' house or just stay up late hangin' out or playing games?? Well, it kinda felt like that. It was great! Both of our families put our wee ones to bed and then the grown-ups played a mean game of Phase 10, while the other chitlins played Uno and watched movies. When we realized that it was already 10 pm, it was time to head out and put our munchkins to bed. Next time, we're doin' a sleepover ya'll!

Saturday saw our kids head off to grandmas to give Mom and Dad some much needed alone time. We used a Red Lobster gift card (with coupon!) to enjoy our selves a quiet lunch. We did some window shopping too: JoAnn's for me and Guitar Center for him, then browsed at Target, picking up a couple of gifts with gift cards as well. We hit the library right before closing time to get ourselves a couple of free movies, which we enjoyed with some late night pizza from the freezer and IBC root beer (my favorite!) that had been stashed away in the fridge. We went to bed early *grin* and slept in late...well, at least I did.

So, we spent hardly any money to celebrate our 11th year of marriage. But really, you can't put a price tag on great conversation and buckets of laughs. There's been lots of ups and downs these last eleven years, especially this last year.

But ya know what else is priceless?

Knowing that there's no one else that I rather be on that roller coaster with.

Praying for YOU

In honor of Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day

I am thinking of and praying for YOU today.  

YOU, who have no living children, yet have the heart of a mother.  

YOU, who while pregnant after a loss, have a heart of fear; loving your child within yet still longing for your child in heaven.  

YOU, who feel you have been robbed of the innocent joy that a pregnancy can bring, knowing all too well that sometimes things don't turn out the way you plan them.

YOU, who are still suffering in your grief after the death of your child.  

YOU, who heard the words, "I'm sorry. We can't find a heartbeat." 

YOU, who had a baby shower, decorated a nursery, picked a name, yet did not bring a baby home from the hospital.


YOU, who don't know how to answer the casual question, "So, how many children do you have?"

YOU, who have part of your family living on earth and part living in heaven.

And while I pray for YOU, I pray for ME at the same time. And I thank Him for YOU, for being my friend and for walking the hard road with me.

Missing for Five

I think this quote I stumbled upon says it best:

For a short time, I had your body in my body.
I carried your belly in my belly.
And now, though I have your heart in my heart and feel your soul in my soul,
I will never have your hand in my hand.
I miss your life in my life.

I have been missing Olivia for five months now. Missing the way she would've fit into our lives, the way she would've been growing, the joy she would've brought, the sleepless newborn nights and endless warm snuggles. Missing her life in mine.

What's next, Lord?

I am still here. Trudging through life. And I want to explain why. Why it's difficult to post as much as I'd like to.

I should probably start this post by turning the calendar back a few months. It was about mid-August and the Husband was merrily driving a dump truck for someone else and was approached about a job opportunity for our small business. After much debate, prayer and wise counsel, we decided to accept this opportunity to do staffing and management for heavy machinery operators for a short-term project, with the hope that more short-term projects would follow. We felt, and still do, that God was leading us in that direction and that His blessing was on our decision. Unfortunately, "short-term" has turned out to be much shorter than we were led to believe and have had only one great month of work.

It was a exciting, sometimes stressful, logistical roller coaster that we have been on, going from the Husband as our only employee to a team of about twelve. I went from crafty, homeschooling, full-time mom, to being the newly crowned CFO of our little company. We were so blessed to have been able to provide work for others who needed it and for that, I am grateful. Now, though, the roller coaster has come to a screeching halt. The job progressed faster than expected. The weather has been rainy here, not conducive to the type of truck work that we have been involved with. So we waited for the ground to dry up. And waited. And waited some more.

Today is the first (partial) day of work for the month of October and the month is nearly half over. No work means no money. We are both scared. We are selling off personal possessions now and the Husband gave his first plasma donation last week. Even amidst much prayer, I have that heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach. It's so difficult not to worry, even though I know that it won't add an hour to my life. I shake my head in disbelief that after all we have gone through already this year that God would still ask more of me. I already feel so beaten down by life and to even think about losing the home that I cherish seems like just more than I could handle. Grief is particularly taxing on a marriage, not to mention the added stress of our job situation. To put it nicely, it just makes things not-so-pretty around here sometimes.

All of that job tumult makes it hard to post about other things. Things like new recipes, what a great privilege it is to be a mom, how much I love fall, the blessing of great friends, the amazing adventure we call homeschooling, and the goodness of and wrestling with God through all these struggles.

Lately when the people that love me casually ask, "So how are you?", I have come up with my own version of an honest & clever answer: Do you want me to tell you the truth or do you want me to say 'fine' just so you can be comfortable?

The Husband has his own answer:

Life is rough, but God is good.

I think I like his better.

Trisomy 21

Lately I have found myself thinking a lot about Trisomy 21 and wishing Olivia had IT, instead of Trisomy 18. What would she be like, what would our life be like, if only the 21st chromosome were affected instead of the 18th? Do you know the common name for Trisomy 21?

Down Syndrome.

Is it a coincidence that out of the last handful of books that I have read, two of them (The Memory Keeper's Daughter & Just Beyond the Clouds) have centered around children/people affected by down syndrome? I have been privileged to read about the special lives that that T21 families lead, like Emmie and Bennett , and I've followed a journey through the NICU for Fiesty Kaelyn. For some strange reason, more and more, I am feeling a kinship with families like those and others who have been touched by Down's. Maybe because, although Olivia is in heaven, our lives were touched by a Trisomy, albeit not the exact same one. In honor of October being Down Syndrome Awareness Month, I've added a button to the sidebar of my blog. If you feel so inclined to raise awareness, you can add one to yours too, but visiting this post. Stop by some of the families I've mentioned and show them some love too!

W is for...

Wednesday! Well, not only that, but for Old World Wisconsin, too! Remember how last week we were on break from school? Well, I planned some fun family activities to build great memories and just plain enjoy our time off. We kicked off the week with a visit to a friend. Then on Tuesday, I took the girls to see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. {You can sign up for Movie Time emails here for Classic Cinemas and automatically earn yourself a free popcorn coupon. Obviously, you should wait to sign up until you're prepared to use the coupon.} Our BIG outing of the week was to Old World Wisconsin. We packed a picnic lunch and the weather was perfectly lovely for a day outside. It was so much more than a museum. I guess I would classify it as 'living history'; one of the biggest ones in the world at 576 acres. There were animals roaming about the various houses, people tending gardens, a teacher in the schoolhouse, and characters just going about daily chores. This place was great for all ages. The Husband was really excited to go and I'd have to admit that I was too. I'll just let the pictures speak for themselves.

Some of these cast iron stoves were actually lit, so the people 'living' in the house would warn you, in case you had little ones in your group. A lady had just taken some soda bread out of one of the ovens, just as we had arrived.

 

 

Can you tell that I was totally mesmerized by the General Store? I mean...fabric...buttons...yarn!

The girls helping take the wash off the line.

My grandma has a treadle sewing machine just like this one.

I was almost expecting things in the 'exhibits' to be fake, call it "museum mentality". I actually squeezed one of these tomatoes just to be sure.

Check out that cheeeesey smile! I just couldn't help myself to a few little comments here and there. We all loved our week break. I can't wait to plan some fun things for the next one!

Life Lessons from the Veggies

While driving home from a friend's house the other night, our family began to break into song. This happens more than you might think around here, especially with worship songs and tunes on Christian radio. The girls started it and the parents just kinda jumped right in. It's a tune from a Veggie video called, "Where is God when I'm scared?" The part that we belted out was the chorus of song, which went like this:

God is bigger than the Boogie Man.
He's bigger than Godzilla or the monsters on TV.
Oh, God is bigger than the Boogie Man
And He's watching out for you and me.

I turned to the Husband and said, God is bigger than death {meaning Olivia's} and bigger than unemployment. After a moment of quiet I asked, Could it really be that simple? The Husband said, I think it really is THAT simple. Maybe that's what 'faith like a child' is all about. That we just take what our Father tells us and believe it 100%.

The next morning, Sunday, Hubs went for a run and after coming home said that he had a song stuck in his head the entire time. What song? God is bigger than the Boogie Man....

So, if you were a singing vegetable, how would YOUR song go? "God is bigger than _________."

Trusting the Truth that God is Bigger,

Five Weeks Already?

My creatively developed schedule for this year allows for "5 weeks On and 1 week Off" of school. I think I love it. Last Friday marked the last day of the first 5 week stretch. We are planning some fun field trips for this week and I will be pre-planning for the next five weeks. Here's a look back at what & how things are working for us!

Sienna

Curriculum: Little Hands to Heaven

Bible/History: So far we have studied the Creation Story, Noah, Cain and Abel, Abraham and Sarah, Joseph.

Letters: A-D with all sorts of different actitivies, both fine and gross motor skills. We have learned a weekly rhyme/fingerplay that corresponds to each letter sound and incorporates the current Bible story. Each week we make a large letter on the carpet with blue painter's tape. Makes for a great visual and opportunities for lots of creative play: walking on the letter, walking a stuffed animal on the letter, trying to 'feel' the letter with our feet while our eyes are closed, placing wooden blocks on the letter to cover it up, plus just the constant visual of the letter we are studying. This is a great idea for any-kind-of-schooler for letter recognition!

Numbers: 1-5

Nature: As a means of learning through God's Creation, we are incorporating nature walks into our week and everyday life. We have added several pages to our nature journal, looked up different kinds of birds and flowers online and have caught several spiders to keep as temporary 'pets'. We keep these pets in little glass jars and the most exciting part for the kids is when they spin webs inside the jars. Creepy, I know.

Tatiana

Curriculum: Adventures in My Father's World

Bible: The Hubs is handling the Bible section. They are studying a different 'name' of Jesus each week and are making a Names of Jesus poster. There is also a memory verse that goes along with each week and the two of them have been looking up lots of different Bible verses (Sword Drill!) and discussing them. This has been a really great way to get Dad involved in schooling and a practical way that he can demonstrate his spiritual leadership of our family.

History: Pilgrims. Again. I balked at this fact when I decided to switch curriculum, but find it working out more pleasantly than I thought. I think being a year older, Tatiana can learn at a deeper level and since the subject matter is somewhat familiar, she can focus on more specifics. We've also started a U.S. Notebook, which will be filled with various pages pertaining to U.S. History, including a brief study page on each of the 50 States. So far it has a few patriotic songs and some copywork/picture pages based on what we've been reading.

Book Basket: We love the book basket! This is just a collection of library books pertaining to our History topic. Tatiana looks through the books for 15 minutes a day. As long as she is reading them, she can pick and choose any one in the basket. The best part is that our the writers of our Christian curriculum have already pre-read all of the recommended books and they are listed in the appendix. I reserve all the ones I want online through our library system and just go pick them up when ready. This would be a great addition to any-kind-of-schooler's day, for supplemental parent-approved reading time!

Handwriting: We are using Pictures in Cursive by Queen Homeschool and really love it. Each group of lessons is actually a picture study of a fine piece of artwork. I love the idea that Tatiana is being exposed to great art and that it is integrated with the cursive lessons, as opposed to just writing something unrelated like "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog".

Spelling: We are using Spelling Wisdom. She learns to identify 'trouble' words and these become her spelling words. Each lesson is a quote, virtue, or piece of good literature. Tatiana learns to spell the words through a serious of specific steps and the 'test' is actually a dictation of the lesson. Again, I love that the words are within the context of a good value, instead of just random words. It's a reminder to me to discuss some of these virtues and what they mean for our everyday lives

Read-Aloud: Squanto, Friend of the Pilgrims by Clyde Bulla

Independent Reading: So far, Tatiana has polished off Kit Kitteredge: An American Girl, Mystery in the Theatre: An American Girl Mystery, and a biography of Helen Keller. She has just started on a book called Hannah.

Math: We are still plugging along with Singapore Math. I have thought about switching many times, but have been unsure whether the curriculum is the problem or whether it's just a weak spot for this particular child. I've come to the conclusion that I think it's a little of both. I am supplementing with flash card, fun workbooks pertaining to the exact skill being learned (multiplication/division) and the biggest change so far has been my/our attitudes. We are playing lots of games to MAKE MATH FUN. I think if it's not such a drag for Tati then it won't be one for me either. I've found ideas for dice games, math bingo games, and more.

Science: We've had some intro lessons one What Science Is and What Scientist Do and right now are focusing on constellations and His Creation of the universe. I highly recommend the book Constellations for Every Kid by Janice Van Cleave. I find it very extraordinary for parental learning as well as for children loaded with great activities to make star-gazing doable for the everyday kid. I hope to squeeze in some of these activities this week, as the kiddos will be able to stay up later since we won't have our normal school schedule during the days.

And I can't neglect to leave my little guy out. He's what makes me want to pull my hair out our school days challenging!

Phew! Thanks for humoring my school days recap!

Quatro Meses

It has been four long months.

Four months...

...since Olivia left us....

...of snuggling and sleeping with a baby blanket, instead of with a baby...

...of painful memories...

...of trying to put back together the pieces of all that has been broken...

...since the miracle we hoped for was lost...

...of longing for Heaven like never before...

...of spoiling our other three children on earth...

...of trying to make sense of that which just can't be understood...

...of sleepless nights and tear-stained pillows...

...of wondering what Olivia's legacy will be...

...of running to God and running away from Him...

...of imagining how things could've turned out differently...

...of dreaming of how Olivia looks in her Heavenly body...

...of missing the joy of another daughter.

Oh, Olivia. Mommy still cries great big tears for you. How I selfishly wish you were here.  It seems like forever since I felt your little fluttery kicks. My heart still aches to have you near and hold you in my arms. Will our family ever feel complete while we are seperated by eternity? Will my heart ever feel whole again? I miss you, sweet baby girl. I miss you something awful.