A Christmas Miracle

I need one.

Our business is struggling. Our sole customer can only afford to pay us a fraction of what he was paying before, leaving me feeling....well....desperate. I am not talking about trying to merely afford a certain kind of lifestyle. I am referring to literally having enough money to pay my necessary bills, like my mortgage, food, and electricity. There is nothing left in my budget to cut. No more fat to trim. I am waiting on a miracle.

It feels superficial to talk about holiday festivities or my latest craft project or my little guy's first birthday party, when all I feel like is that things are crashing down around me. I hate to be a downer in the midst of everyone else's joy, but this is just my reality right now. And I'd hate to put on a cheery face {or a cheery blog for that matter} when the truth is something altogether different. Oh, I know all the proper cliches, like God will provide or He loves you and He has a plan for you. But His provision is....non-specific. At least that's how it seems to me. God never promised us a single family home or tasty nutritious food or money for utilities. I guess you could say He would still be caring for us if we had to subsist on boxes of mac & cheese and move in with family or some sort of shelter, right?

As if this matter of money was not stressful enough, God has, er, blessed us with knowledge that we are expecting another baby! I realize {now, after much crying & thought} that although I did not plan this, God was not surprised one bit. He must think that I can handle more than I ever thought I could. I hope He doesn't think that I can handle much more!

So while others are decking the halls, making their last minute Christmas purchases, and spreading holiday cheer, I am battling near constant nausea and wondering how long I can make the five boxes of noodles on my pantry shelf last. During this season of contemplating Christ's humble birth, I am trying not to let my stressful circumstances rob me of my joy. I am thankful that my God is incorruptible, that He is faithful to His promises, and loves His very own children more than the lilies of the field and the birds of the air.

Oh, how I need a miracle these days. I guess it's a good thing that I am clinging to the One in the Miracle Making Business.

The Other Kind of Labor

Since Stephanie is playing along {meme provided by Rocks in My Dryer}, I thought I would play too

How long were your labors?

Kid #1: 14 hours
Kid #2: 14 hours
Kid #3: 14 hours

Aren't they supposed to get shorter the more kids you have? At least I'm consistent

How did you know you were in labor?

Kid #1: woke up at 2:30 am with back pain & contractions, unlike the Braxton-Hicks I had been having.
Kid #2, water breaking.
Kid #3, mild-contractions when I woke up for the day that were semi-regular. My doctor's appointment that same day confirmed that I was in labor, and, um, 6-8 cm dilated.

Where did you deliver?

With all of them, at a hospital. Homebirths are not for me.

Drugs?

#1: IV drugs. Requested epidural. Anesthesiologist was "busy". By the time he was "unbusy", I was already too far along.

#2: Epidural. Successful this time.

#3: No drugs until 9.5 cm. Requested epidural. Waited for 20 minutes. Still no anesthesiologist. Feel need to push. First push & baby was nearly out. As baby was crowning, anesthesiologist was knocking on door.

Note to self: If future pregnancies should occur, request epidural before arriving at hospital.

C-section?

Nope. Thankful for that too. Really would rather not have one unless medical emergency necessitates it.

Who delivered?

Doctors, thankfully. If I wouldn't have had a doctor's appointment the same day with #3, I think hubster might've had to wear his catcher's mitt.

Hope you enjoy yourself a great day with family!

Talk About It: Kids on Leashes

At a recent outdoor church gathering, I was somewhat surprised to see a woman with a child on a leash. Maybe the appropriate term is "tether"? {If you're not familiar: the child wears sort of a harness, then there is a long strap that attaches to the back that the caregiver can then hold onto or can wear around their wrist.} My first thought was, "Wouldn't it just be easier to train that child not to run off?" Now maybe this wasn't the child's parent, so the caregiver just didn't want to take chances. I could see if maybe you were in a super crowded situation like a bustling airport at rush hour or wall-to-wall people at an outdoor event. But at a church picnic?

What do you think? Child leashes: Appalling or appropriate??

As always......

Rules: Play nicely. We all have our own opinion, but let's be thoughtful and respectful of one another.

Happy Mother's Day!

May we never take for granted the blessing and privilege of motherhood. Every time we comfort a screaming child, wipe a runny nose, change a poopy diaper, say "NO!" for the umpteenth time, let us not grow weary for doing good, as we remember women who long for the chance to do those things. May we pray a little harder, play a little harder, laugh a little louder, and have our hearts be a little fuller today as we cherish our children. Let us all enjoy this wonderful, exhausting, touching, seemingly never-ending journey together.

Happy Mother's Day!

J & K + 8

If you watch IT, then you'll know right away what the title of this post means! Tatiana really enjoys this show too for some reason. I'm not sure what the draw for her is, whether it's all the little kids running around or the peek into the life of a big family. She'll say things wistfully like, "I wish we had that many children", while I can't even entertain the thought! I think about Kate sometimes when I am stressing about having to take 3 kids to the grocery store. I bet that would breeze for her! I can't imagine having to sweep/mop as often as she does or having to potty train 3 tots at a time. I *seriously* don't know how Kate keeps it all together. Sometimes I feel like the household is crumbling down around me and I have less than half the number of children as she does! They've really got their hands full, but also, I bet, full hearts as well.

Do you watch? What do you think of their family dynamics?

**As always, I don't mind lively discussion, but keep your comments respectful!**

Baby Love

Yep. I've got my hands full, but I wouldn't trade a minute of it. I don't talk much about my little bug-a-boo, so I thought I'd brag on him a bit. He's a good baby. He loves lots of physical contact & sleeps really well when you're holding him and not so well when you're not {during the day at least}. As far as the nights go, he's a night owl. Always has been since before birth. He goes to sleep about 10:30 pm and will occasionally sleep all the way through til about 7 am. If not, he usually wakes up about 4 am and then will sleep another 4 hours. He is still sleeping in his bassinet, as every time I try putting him in the crib for naps and such he only sleeps about 20-30 minutes and the times I've tried at night, he'll only sleep about 2 hours. Yeah. I know there aren't any toddler boys sleeping in their bassinets, so hopefully that means that somehow we'll get through it. I've tried giving him cereal, since it almost seems like he needs it, but haven't given it to him for about a week now, just because I really rather not unless absolutely necessary.

He loves his chupy {pronounced choo-pee} which is a nickname for his pacifier. In spanish, it is called chupon, but we've shortened it to chupy. I love all the baby cuddles & the occasional naps that we get to take together. I love slathering him with kisses. I've managed to avoid getting peed on, but I'm sure that's inevitable. He has severely {and I mean, severely} dried & chapped skin. Just putting baby lotion on him made him scream yesterday, that's how scaly & sensitive it is. I'm sure he'll grow out of that too. But in the meantime, lots of snuggles, lots of nursing, and lots of love.

the WHOLE truth

"I'm so blue-hoo-hoo, blue-hoo-hoo, blue-hoo-hoo-HOO, I'm so blue, I don't know what to do."
~Madame Blueberry

I received an email recently from a dear friend with "the truth" as the subject line. The email contained four small, but potent words: How are you doing? So I thought I'd share the truth here. I'm a little blue. Maybe it's just my hormones trying to return back to normal. Maybe it's trying to find the time that a busy household requires to take care of everything and everyone. Maybe it's the mental and physical fogginess that sleep-deprivation causes. Hubby keeps telling me that we're all "still adjusting". Well, I wish we would all just adjust and then move on already! He cares for me so much that I have a sneaky suspicion that he called the aforementioned friend and asked her to check up on me. He also called my mom and surprised me by having her spend the night on Friday so we could go to dinner & our small group {with the nursing baby, of course}! He tries to let me get some time to myself so I can scrapbook, think about sewing {my sewing machine got sick and died about 3 weeks ago, but that is another saga}, or just lay zombie-like on the couch, like I did last night. He is trying his best to take care of me and the children, but nonetheless, sometimes I just want to cry or scream or just hop in the car and drive away from it all. I think sleep deprivation makes it a lot harder for me to control my emotions as well! I am praying that, like I mentioned in my last FUNschooling post, that I would, Do my best and let God take care of the rest. I am praying that somehow God would fill in those places in the girls' lives that need a little filling. I pray that He would give me this day, my daily bread. So now you know, in the midst of all my other light-hearted or crafty-type posts, how I'm really doing.

How long before you felt like you fell into a rhythm with a new baby? Is there anything that you would do or tell yourself to get through the blues?

The Big Day

a.k.a Birth Story ~ Part Two

Friendly Caution: If you are uncomfortable reading about dilation or get weirded out by the word "cervix", then just go ahead and skip this post!

So after the deer incident, I wake up Wednesday morning with mild contractions. I didn't suspect anything other than those pesky Braxton-Hicks, but these were accompanied by a backache, giving me the sneaky suspicion that this was the real deal. They were about 10-12 minutes apart, sometimes longer, so I wasn't sure whether this was actual "labor". I called the hubster around 10:30 am & told him I wasn't feeling well. I mentioned the contractions & he requested that I call the doctor's office. I was advised not to come to the hospital until they were 5 minutes apart. {Good thing that God had planned for me to have a doctor's appointment already that afternoon or I would've had an unplanned homebirth.} I told hubby to come home early to take care of me. I rested. I Knitted. I Sudoku-ed. {I *love* Sudoku!}

My appointment was at 3:30 pm. We all went as a family, hoping that maybe the doctor would send me to the hospital. I saw Dr. Z. The nurse asked how I was feeling & I told her that I thought I might be in *early* labor. So Dr. Z examines me. She has a puzzled look on her face during the examination. I am thinking, "Oh Great. I am still 2-3 cm or something like that." She informs me that I am "at least" 6 cm, but she can't really tell because one side of my cervix is completely dilated. She asks if there is any chance I can go directly to the hospital. {She told me the next morning that she didn't want to make me nervous, but was really thinking that I better get to the hospital, like, NOW.} We all arrive at the hospital, my mom meeting us there to retrieve the children.

I am admitted & checked by Dr. F {new doctor in the practice if you are following my abbreviations}, who tells me that I am 8 cm. WHAT???!!! This is seriously unbelievable to me. UN-BE-LIEV-ABLE. During my last labor I was at 2 cm and already in a lot of pain. The doctor and nurse kept asking me if I was sure I didn't want anything for the pain. It was bizarre. I wasn't even really in that much pain. I felt like a woman from the Baby Story, just la-de-da during labor. I was positive for Group B Strep, so I needed to have pencilin & waited 3 1/2 hours before my water could be broken. Dr. F thought I would go pretty fast after my water had been broken. I tried pushing at 9 1/2 cm, but with no luck. My contractions were pretty strong at this point, but not unbearable. I did ask for an epidural while waiting to dilate the rest of the way. I didn't realize that the anesthesiologist would need to be called in. Yeah. Would've liked that bit of information a little earlier in the process. I waited. Ten minutes. Fifteen. Twenty. By this time I was feeling like I had to push & really, my body just couldn't help it anymore. Dr. F says, "Go ahead & try pushing." I push & much to my disbelief {and the doctor's too} I feel his head coming out. The bed hasn't been broken down yet. Doc doesn't have on any surgical apparel. She says, "Please wait. Let me get my gown on." as she runs across the room to retrieve the surgical tray. Through my bloody-murder-type scream I tell her I can't wait. She says, "Please at least let me get my gloves on." Again. Body. Just. Won't. Wait. His head is out & with one more push his body splashes out & doc delivers him while sitting on the bed. More disbelief when I read the scale from across the room. Eight pounds, fifteen ounces. I. Can't. Believe. It. Doc shows me her hand & I just have to laugh as she managed to get her hand into the palm of the glove & delivered the baby with the fingers of the glove just hanging off. Funny. Just as amazing is that I need no stitches. WHAT?! After delivering a nearly nine pound baby?!! Amazing. Really. No drugs. No stitches. A nine pounder. God really does exist ~ LOL!

In all seriousness though, I really could see God's hand in caring for me that day. I had many people praying for me & I am sure that that made a lot of difference. I still can not believe that I was able to deliver such a big baby, drug-free & with no stitches. It makes me feel like I conquer the world now. I hadn't set out to do that, but it just sort of happened upon me. My body feels like it has had a much quicker recovery. I don't know if it's just because it gets easier with each child or if it's due to the type of labor I had.

So now you know. It's not that every birth story isn't a miracle in and of itself, but for me, this one really stands out & I am still in amazement over the whole thing. I leave you with this,

"Be not afraid of greatness; some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them." William Shakespeare

Just stopping in....

...to present our newest addition!

::Sebastian Judah::

::weighing a whopping 8 pounds 15 ounces, measuring 21 inches long::

::big sisters Tatiana & Sienna are so proud::

We are all at home and doing great! I will share more about his grand arrival as time allows. It really was miraculous {not that all births aren't}, but this one, for me, was especially special. Blessings to everyone who prayed for us before, during, and after the delivery. Thank you for covering us in prayer & lifting up my hands when I was weak. God is so good!

Odd Mom Out

Yep. I'm the odd mom out. We don't celebrate Halloween. {Maybe there are other "odd" moms out there, I just don't come across them that often.} I don't decorate with ghosts or witches or skeletons. We do celebrate Harvest Time and I enjoy decorating with pumpkins, picking pumpkins, and eating pumpkin-y foods. We love the smells of burning leaves and apple picking and other fun fall stuff. I'm not opposed to dressing up or taking the kids to a costume party, it is the "celebrating of the day" part that I am against. What are you really celebrating anyway? A recent conversation with another dance class mom went something like this:

Mom: {to her kids} "Ask the girls what they're going to be for Halloween. Go on! Ask 'em!!"

Me: {silently cringing to self}

Mom: "Hey girls, so what are you going to be for Halloween?"

Me: "Um, we don't celebrate Halloween."

Mom: "Are you Jehovah's Witnesses?" {I guess in her mind you would have to be....}

Me: "Nope."

Mom: "Do you celebrate anything else?"

Me: {chuckling to self} "Yep. I just don't think Halloween is worth celebrating." {I really didn't want to get into any answer deeper than this.}

Mom: "You don't even let them celebrate at school??!" {As if schools were in charge of everything.}

Me: {Oh. Brother.} "We homeschool."

Mom: oooooooohhhhh

The mom in question is particularly straightforward. She has already told me that she doesn't think we should name our baby Sebastian & suggested several other names that she thinks are appropriate. Despite her opinionated nature, I think this conversation threw her for a loop!

If you are a Halloween-er, I'm not judging you, so please don't flame me for my opinion. If you are an odd mom too, then I'd love to hear it! I guess tonight I will leave the house lights off, draw the blinds closed & enjoy some private family time huddled indoors. From a frugal standpoint, I'm saving money on costumes, Halloween candy, and dentist bills from all the sweets!

Happy Wednesday!!