Interrupted

We interrupt this regularly scheduled homeschooling Mama's routine to bring you....

....jury duty.

I was assured by others that the odds that I would actually have to go to the courthouse were slim. I called the night before and there were no specifications as to who had to attend. Everyone was to show up for the jury call. I observe about 70 potential jurors. I knew they would select twelve, meaning that I had only a 17% chance of actually being selected.

Apparently, I am quite lucky.

I should've bought a lottery ticket.

I've watched a lot of Law & Order and also enjoy my daily dose of People's Court and Judge Judy. So for me, it was like those shows had come to life! In some ways, this real-life trial was similar. "I object to this line of questioning!" In other ways, not. (The courtroom definitely was not as dramatic looking and the attorneys remained seated while examining the witnesses.)

After two full days of being in court (1 1/2 days worth of trial), my duty has been fulfilled. I took many notes. I prayed, for myself, for wisdom, for the man whose life could change because of our decision. I took this responsibility quite seriously. Oh, and guess who ended up being the foreperson?

Yep. That's right.

My face was so hot after we finished deliberating, I had to go into the bathroom and press my cheeks against the cool metal paper towel dispenser. My knees were actually shaking as the verdict was delivered. (The judge actually read it, not the foreperson, like you might see on TV.)  We were personally thanked by the Judge for our service and he answered any questions we might've had.

All in all, it was a positive experience. Something I won't soon forget. And I will continue to pray for the man that we convicted. I'm sure he won't forget this experience either.

Any other former jurors out there?

Of all.

We received a lot of really nice gifts for Christmas. Things that I will truly enjoy. But the best gift of all didn't have a price tag and wasn't purchased at a store. It was from my 83 year-old grandmother; she just didn't know it at the time. While visiting her home on Christmas Eve, we enjoyed a nice Polish meal and began to open gifts. I crossed the room for some reason and noticed a picture frame sitting next to her television. The frame said, "Families are forever" and inside were some things to remember Olivia by: a card that we had given out at her funeral, tiny hand-cut angels, Olivia's footprints hand-cut out of a memory card. My grandma has been suffering from arthritis for God-only-knows how long and for some time now is either unable to do the things she loves, like knitting, crocheting, and sewing and has taken to wearing hand/wrist support gloves for most of the time. I can only imagine the time and (possible) pain that she had to endure to hand-cut all these little decorations and the love that such sacrifice requires. In that very moment, I was nearly reduced to a puddle just thinking about it. And then she proudly declared,

"Olivia is still a part of our family."

And to my husband she whispered under her breath,

"She is waiting for me."

And that made the best Christmas memory of all.

Dump Truck Cake: How-to

Choose a dump truck with a really big trailer and wash thoroughly. Check thrift stores and garage sales if you don't have suitable selection at home. My dump truck trailer measures about 9" x 6", roughly half the size of 9" x 13" sheet pan.

Bake your cake and cut to fit. If you want a layered cake, depending on the depth of your truck, you might have to bake two thinner layers or one bigger cake that you cut two pieces out of. Use as big of a spatula as possible to gently lift the layers and place them in the truck bed. An extra set of hands won't hurt either.

Even if it breaks a part a little, just put the broken pieces in to fit.

Add filling if desired. I layered some cool whip in the middle and placed the other half on top. You can see in the photo how that top layer crack in half, but I just squished it back together. No one will ever notice!

Frost with chocolate frosting. Since I was using what I had at the time, I only had about 1/3 can of chocolate frosting from a previous baking project, so I just melted that down and poured it over the top.

If you really want to make it look cool, crush some chocolate wafer cookies and sprinkle them over the top. A few gummy worms poking out here and there would be fun as well. I was not able to do this because of the extra ingredients it requires, but just love the idea.

Prepare to amaze your little trucker!

One.

When the calendar turns over, we start thinking about what we can do differently. Or what we need to do. Period. I usually lean towards more open-ended resolutions that allow me to consider them complete, as long as progress was made. For several years, my resolution was simply to not put undue burden on the family budget. So to consider that a success, I could clip coupons, shop at thrift stores, find ways to earn extra money, go without, look for sales, reuse and so on. This year, however, I am straying from my past tendency and chose something much more finite.

I have just one resolution for 2010: to finish my Hope devotional. 

Oh, there are other things I hope to accomplish. Getting my recipes and my basement in order for starters. But I don't think any one thing can really impact my life as much as spending more time in God's Word. I heard a sermon recently that said if we place our time with God in a position of high priority in our lives, that will activate all the other areas in which we need help (or blessing)! The filling up of my spiritual cup will overflow into the rest of my life.

At least, I hope it will.

I have 35 weeks left of devotions in the Hope book. Each day there are additional Scripture readings as well. I have also been memorizing Scripture to build my reservoir. Even plugging along without missing a day will take me through 3/4 of the year. I'm not going to be legalistic about my schedule or beat myself up about skipping a day, but I am going to just try to stay focused.

So, I'm keeping it simple by just making one single resolution. I think it's the most important one I could make.

Got goals?

Homemade Chai

I wasn't sure I would ever post this because my Chai recipe is really more like your grandmother's recipes. Ya know, the ones that she doesn't write down and doesn't measure, but just knows how to make it by feel. I started out with a base recipe from the internet that, of course, I can no longer find....

Homemade Chai

2 Black tea bags (English Breakfast)

2 small cinnamon sticks

10 whole cloves

10 peppercorns

1/8 t. cardamom

1/4 c. brown sugar

1 1/2-2 c. water

Hot Milk

Put the first five ingredients in a small saucepan. Boil the water, then pour over the bags & spices. Cover the pot and let steep for about 10-15 minutes. Add the sugar and mix to dissolve. Strain into your mug. Add enough hot milk to make a medium to light brown colored chai. 

(Lotsa) Special Notes:

I'm really fussy about my tea preparation. I wouldn't just put the water in the pot and then bring it to a boil. I like pouring the boiling water over the bags & spices. Maybe it turns out the same; I don't know. Also, I like a reeeaaalllllllly long steep. Sometimes I'll just leave it there for hours. If you let it steep for forever like I do, you'll have to reheat the tea mixture when you're ready to serve it. For the straining, I use a really fine mesh strainer, but you could also use a coffee filter set into a funnel. Since the cardomom is the only ground spice, you could try and just really carefully decant the tea into your mug. I also make about 2-3 subsequent pots using the same spices. I'll just add one fresh tea bag to the bags already in the pot and sometimes about 1/2 of new spices to the ones already in the pot. I realized after typing this all out how much brown sugar I was consuming in a day. YIKES!! But for a special treat, it really is worth it. I figure that since I'm using 2% milk, I'm off-setting the sugar a little bit. You could also just use maybe 2 T. of brown sugar and sweeten with Splenda to taste. Feel free to throw some extra spices in there. Ginger? Nutmeg? Go for it. The spicier, the better. Because if you don't like it sweet and spicy, you might as well just use a store-bought Chai tea bag, know what I mean?

Reasons

Why I Neglect My Blog

1. Because I don't feel like I have anything exciting to say.

2. Because I wonder if you tire of hearing about my journey through grief.

3. Because sometimes I just need a break from the online world.

4. Because I am inundated with frantically sewing my Christmas gifts, along with attending multiple family gatherings.

5. Because I feel like sometimes I'm a kill-joy.

6. Because I can't decide if I should post about cooking or sewing.

7. Because, do you really need to read another Merry Christmas/Happy New Year post? Seriously.

8. Because not posting is better than a post titled "UNhappy New Year".

9. Because I'm busy thinking about my goals for 2010 and don't want to post until I have them all figured out.

10. Because I'm too content to be reading good books, drinking amazing homemade Chai, playing with the kids, joking with the husband, preparing to attend a smashing wedding, and endlessly planning my next craft project.

1000 Words

One of us

One of us had the most amazing Christmas possible.

One of us is in a place where Christmas is celebrated everyday, not just on December 25th. One of us could hear the angels singing, instead of singing about angels. One of us has the complete peace, joy, and love that all the Christmas songs refer to.

That is because one of us is already with the One for whom Christmas is all about.

One day, we will all celebrate Christmas together as a family.

Forever and ever.

 

Merry 1st Christmas Olivia! You were loved and missed around our Christmas tree.

Free Gifts

These all came together in my mind and heart yesterday and I thought I'd share them with all of you. I've been thinking about things I can give that don't cost anything and this is what God brought to mind. So here are four gifts that can be given this holiday season (and beyond!) and you don't even need your debit card.

The Gift of Grace

For yourself. For others. I think I am hardest on myself and expect more out of myself than maybe I should sometimes. Maybe you are the other way around. Whichever is the case, we all could use a little more grace. Yelling less. Loving more. Encouraging your husband. Appreciating your wife. Focusing on your families good qualities instead of the annoyances. We all have been extended more grace than we deserve.

The Gift of Peace

Ya know that grudge that you've been holding onto for far too long? That fractured relationship that could use some mending? The seed of bitterness that has started to take root? This gift is so easy to imagine, but so difficult to execute. Maybe it can start with just a turn of the heart; going to that family gathering planning to be peaceful despite what comes your way. I am working on this gift myself. 

The Gift of Joy

There has been so much recent pain in the lives of people I know. Grief that I know all too well. One of my favorite verses has been Deuteronomy 30:19 where we are told to 'choose life' and I suppose I kind of equate that 'choosing joy' since the word life feels so arbitrary to me. This could be simply getting out of bed and getting dressed. It could be deciding to smile more. Dusting off His Word that has been laid aside for far too long. Choosing to focus on 'life' instead of on 'death' or whatever has been lost. Joy is a gift that we must choose to give ourselves and will overflow into the lives of others. (In other words, if Mama ain't happy, nobody ain't happy!)

And last but not least....

The Gift of Hope

Hope is such a powerful thing. I know I've said this before, but I just like to say it a lot: As long as there is life, there is hope. Don't give up, look up. Whatever it is you are facing: an unhappy marriage, a desperate job situation, the loss of the life you thought you'd have, a broken spirit, God is our hope and with Him all things are possible.

I don't say it often enough, but you are all gifts to me. Your friendships. Your comments. Your companionship along the road of life.

Thank you.

Which gift do you need the most? I think, for me, it's hope.

He Provides: Chinese Food

The Husband has a new seasonal job in the snow removal industry. Every time it snows, he will be out shoveling and salting walks. We are so thankful for this new opportunity that God has provided. I have been nervous and anxious to see how this position will pan out. We had our first BIG snow event last week and the Husband pretty much worked for 3 1/2 days straight. (50+ hours)! At the end of that time, I thought it would be nice to take the family out to a restaurant to reconnect and reward my hard-working Beloved for his endless hours of exhausting work. Sit-down restaurants are a luxury that we can no longer afford, so this definitely would be a treat. "The Voice" (aka The Holy Spirit) tells me that I should take us to a Chinese buffet in a nearby town. I even called ahead to see how much this meal would cost me. Twenty-five dollars for the five of us felt like a lot at the moment, but I really wanted to honor my Husband in this way. So, off we went!

Everyone found something tasty to enjoy. I relished watching my son inhale several servings of mozzarella cheese sticks, inches and inches of gooey cheese hanging from his mouth. All the kids enjoyed multiple servings of ice cream. After all, we were celebrating!! Towards the end of the meal, the natives were getting restless. Sebastian was screeching about something; Tatiana was wandering near the table; Sienna was antsy. I noticed a lady at a nearby table watching us and could feel the embarrassment heat my face. I was sure that we were being a nuisance to her quiet meal. As I stood to go pay our bill, this lady approached me.

"Excuse me, how much was your bill?"

*looking surprised* Thirty dollars.

"I have twenty-five dollars here  and my husband and I would like to pay your bill." [This the exact amount that I thought the bill would be based on my prior phone call.]

*gulp* Ok. Well....thank you. (I started crying at this point. I just couldn't believe this!)

"How about if I just take your bill and get the rest of the money for your check together? You just go along with your family and have a nice evening."

*choking out words* Thank you so much. Thank you so much! Have a....blessed holiday.

I was nearly dissolved into a puddle right there. As we left the restaurant, my kids just kept saying, "Mommy, why are you crying? WHY are you crying?" I tried to explain it to them, about how God provided for us through perfect strangers, but really, there are no words to do Him justice.

Even now, I sit here shaking my head in disbelief, tears welling in my eyes. I am so unworthy of His blessings.

And yet, He pours them out.

P.S. Feel free to share in the comments how He has provided for you lately!

He Provides: Thanksgiving

Enter His gates with Thanksgiving. 

-Ps. 100:4a

I keep telling myself that I really should chronicle all the unique ways that God has been providing for us lately. So, that's just what I'm gonna do. He keeps blessing my socks off more times than I can remember. I thought you'd like to come along for the ride. I'm gonna have to back track a little, just so that I can pay special attention to all the creative ways that God has "shown up" in our lives recently.

Our Thanksgiving Meal

We really didn't have any 'extra' money to spare, but we are committed to practicing hospitality (Rom. 12:13). A few weeks before Thanksgiving, we get a phone call from a friend's husband who has passed our name along to a gal at a church we used to attend. I call her and she asks if we would like a Thanksgiving turkey from the Food Pantry. (We never turn down food!) I gratefully tell her that we would love to accept this. When the day arrives for the Husband to pick up said turkey, he returns with not only a turkey but several boxes full of groceries to complement our meal. Yukon gold potatoes? Yep. Sweet potatoes? Uh-huh. Cranberry sauce? You betcha. Loaves of french bread? Yes! And canned vegetables and cake mix and muffin mix and oatmeal and cereal and stuffing. I tried to creatively plan our menu around what we received. The Husband went to donate plasma a few days before Thanksgiving (his second time that week) and got paid $30. He picked up our Thanksgiving groceries and several things for 'the house', which ended up totaling $31.20. 

An entire Thanksgiving meal. For our family, friends, and bunches of leftovers.

All for an out-of-pocket total of $1.20.

He provides, indeed.

For the Love of Pumpkin

And here you thought that Thanksgiving was over.

I had 'the girls' over for dinner the other night and casually mentioned 'pumpkin milkshakes'. I guess I can't just casually mention something like that without sparking the curiosity of all the taste buds that were present.

I warned them that I only had enough ice cream to make ONE shake.

They were not deterred.

I scooped. I blended. I tasted. I served.

It was a measly 1/3 cup portion at best.

But I guess the loud  sssslllluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrppppppssss that came when the straws hit the bottoms of the cups were evidence enough that 'the girls' approved. We all couldn't help but giggle. We waited until the last little drops of milkshake melted and then sluuurped some more. Delicious, indeed.

For the recipe that induced all this slurping, click here.

I served mine without the graham crackers and with dollops of whipped cream on top.

It's better than pumpkin pie and much faster too!

Another Year

Yesterday was a day of celebration. Several loved ones birthdays fall in the month of December and more than one decided to celebrate the occasion yesterday. I spent several hours (alone!) driving from party to party, but as I drove home late in the evening, only one person was on my mind.

Sebastian was born at 9:37 pm and I loved watching the clock and reflecting on where I was just 2 years ago. I thanked God for the blessing that he is and has been to our lives, especially this last year, when I clung to Sebastian as "my baby". It's not that having him to hold and snuggle made losing Olivia less painful, but it did soften the blow a little. I swear it was just the other day that I was posting about my little guy turning ONE. Remember when it seemed like I had blinked and he was already 18 months old? And the calendar pages have just flipped by so rapidly, that here I stand with a brand new 2-year old.

Happy Birthday to my sound effect making, truck loving, temper flaring, Blue's Clues watching, Daddy adoring, eczema suffering, slow talking, furniture climbing, Veggie Tale singing, little man. All these things (and more!) make you who you are. And we wouldn't have it any other way.

Just a Box

I'm sure it must've been a lovely sentiment at the time. In all honesty, it could've been I who bought the item to stash away until the appropriate season. Whoever it was is irrelevant, I suppose. It's just another insight into how something so seemingly harmless as unpacking Christmas decorations can reduce a fully-grown woman to tears.

What should've been Baby's 1st Christmas, as the ornament in the photo suggests, will be the first Christmas without our baby. People say that the first holiday is the hardest. I sure hope that is true.

It's difficult for other people, especially some that love us best, to understand why we are taking a different approach to this Christmas season. But it's because of things like unpacking a ornament or a family photo that doesn't quite feel complete or wondering if Olivia will even be remembered around the Christmas tree, that give us pause. And pause we should, if we are not to miss the true meaning of the holiday.

And as I sit here, blurry-eyed with tears, God gently reminded me that along with being heart-broken about a box, I can be heart-filled about a different box. The one that held a baby some two-thousand years ago. And so, I guess that is just what I'm gonna try to do.

Thinking about a box,

Mingled

Grief and joy can co-exist.

I wouldn't have thought so before Olivia because, at least to me, they seem like polar opposites. But I have found, that even on the darkest day, there is joy to be found. At first, it was probably mostly grief with little bits of joy mixed in, but gradually the days have changed to not include so much grief. There is more joy now, with bits of grief scattered here and there.

The two lessons this teaches are these: just because I'm grieving does not mean that I never smile and just because I am smiling does not mean that I never grieve. I think most people probably realize the first to be true. If you've ever been to a funeral where you're remembering the loved one who has passed, and reminiscing about their antics or stubborn streak brings you to laughter, you'll know what I mean. I know that the second lesson might be a little trickier to understand as many people may see the smile and assume that I am 'over it' or that there are no longer tears lurking beneath or that I have moved on. Which isn't exactly true.

It's freeing for me to realize that the two, grief and joy, aren't mutually exclusive. I don't have to choose between them. I can have a sad day with smiles sprinkled in or I can have a great day with a sudden bout of tears.

And it seems that the one makes me truly appreciate the other.

Agree?

A Thanksgiving Photo Timeline

 Wednesday, 8:16 pm

The turkey has been brined. I am looking mean and ready to break in my new kitchen shears by attacking preparing my turkey. This will be my first attempt at a high-heat butterflied roast turkey.

8: 57 pm

After fretting, chatting with a friend for a few minutes, lots of consulting with a cookbook (and Google), I finally was able to successfully hack out the turkey's backbone. Good Lord, what have I done? Now this gobbler goes back in the fridge, uncovered, so that the moisture from the brine can evaporate from the skin.

10:06 pm

Well, if my roasted turkey doesn't turn out and we end up ordering pizza at least the kids will have these cute little gobblers to play with. (I have Martha Stewart to thank for the template!)

Thanksgiving Day, 8:32 am

Roll out of bed. Since my high-heat turkey will only take about 2 hours, I don't have to worry about starting the oven at the crack of dawn. I spared you from having to see what I look like when I first wake-up.

10:45 am

Show Tatiana how to make pretty stamped napkin rings. I am intentionally trying to teach the girls how to 'practice hospitality' and am internally thanking myself for not planning a crazy-complicated menu.

10: 48 am

Sienna is given the task of counting out the silverware. I want to make even my small children feel like they are a part of hosting The Big Day.

11:06 am

Nice little napkin rings are complete!

11:28 am

Sienna is bored. I take out our Fun with Fingerprinting book to keep her entertained while I tidy the house.

12: 31 pm

Call Mom to see how her Thanksgiving Day is going. She nearly has a coronary when she hears that I haven't even turned on my oven yet. She says she's heard about this fandangled high-heat method on the radio. Well, if it was on the radio, then it must have some validity right? My confidence is boosted.

1:12 pm

Husband has me watch the intro and first 10 minutes of the movie Up, which he rented for the kids. After those first several scenes (if you've seen it, you'll know what I mean), I go and shut myself in the bathroom and have a good cry. I think to myself that at exactly this time last year, I was discovering that I was pregnant with Olivia and had cried on the very same bathroom floor. I contemplate just canceling my Thanksgiving dinner. But I dry my eyes and decide to forge ahead.

1:45 pm

Start the dough for World's Best Rolls. With a recipe name like that, I have pretty high expectations. The last time I tried a recipe that said "Best"-whatever, it did not live up to the promise. I hope this one will be different.

3:18 pm

My turkey goes in the oven 3 minutes late.

3:33 pm

Why do I feel like I am already behind my pre-planned timeline even though I've barely started cooking? I decide to move a little faster than I had planned. Good thing I have a lot of kitchen experience and many of my cooking skills can go on auto-pilot.

4:20 pm

Sienna is bored. Again. She decides to write out a dinner menu. So, in between mixing, measuring, recipe-checking, timeline consulting, and stirring, I am dictating words to her and pointing out which letters on her letter chart are for each word. Yes. Homeschooling to the core. Plus, I couldn't resist how cute she looked. First thing on her Thanksgiving menu? Hot dogs. Um, I don't think so, sweetie.

4:29 pm

My guests are on their way. Due to some family issues, we decided to keep things low-key and just invite a family of dear friends over for dinner. No turning back now!

4: 33 pm

My timer goes off. A fully-cooked turkey in just 80 minutes seems too good to be true. Will we be ordering pizza?

4:39 pm

Success!

4:56 pm

Guests arrive! I am busily attending to the stove & can't 'meet and greet' like I wanted to. Please know that I spent time today praying for you, my guests. I think that is more important than arranging the perfect centerpiece.

5:21 pm

I set out several side dishes and finish up the rest. I had to have Sweet Potato Casserole and Tatiana requested macaroni and cheese.

5:26 pm

I complete my Thanksgiving meal 4 minutes ahead of schedule. I really only spent about 2 1/2 hours cooking. Amazing.

5: 32 pm

My wonderful Husbands says grace. I get choked up. Despite the trials of this last year, we really do have a lot to be thankful for.

6:48 pm

We all ate at the same table. I love that. No 'kiddie table' here. The World's Best Rolls lived up their name. They were soooo yummy. My new simpler recipe for cranberry sauce was even good. I love when something done more simply is just as good as something complicated. We have tidied up, packed up leftovers, and moved into the family room so the kids can play and the adults can relax.

7:11 pm

What's that Sebastian? You don't want Thanksgiving to end? I guess he's too young to understand what I have been telling the kids all day, "Thanksgiving should be everyday". It's not just one day a year; we should strive daily to have thankful hearts.

7:25 pm

The kids are all in their jammies & have an impromptu 'build-your-own-sundae' for dessert.

7:51 pm

Even though she creates a small fuss, I take a picture with Stephanie anyways.

7:52 pm

The Husband (right) and the best man at our wedding (Stephanie's husband).

10:46 pm

The littlest boys are passed out and our guests get ready to leave. I almost thought it was gonna be a sleepover for a minute there! This little fella looks how I feel. Happy First Thanksgiving Davis!

10: 58 pm

I am lying in bed and trying to figure out the funny feeling that I have in my face. It finally occurs to me. My cheeks are sore from smiling and laughing so much. And that, my friends, hasn't happened in a really long time.

11: 06 pm

I drift off to sleep feeling happy that I decided not to cancel Thanksgiving afterall.