Frozen

Remember the old me? The crafty, sewing, baking me? She's still around here somewhere, it's just that she doesn't come out to play as often as she used to. This, though, is one of those times! Let's talk about all the goodies that I've been putting in the freezer....

Firstly, I'd like to say that sometimes cooking in my kitchen is like being on one of those FoodNetwork challenge shows. You know, the ones where the contestants are given some 'mystery basket' full of items and asked to use them in a dish? What with the gifts of various groceries from family and friends or the donations of someone cleaning out their pantry, sometimes the name of the game is trying to use up what I've got, but I think I've been up for the challenge! Lasagna Spirals was one of those recipes. I loved this idea of individually portioned servings of lasagna and it freezes beautifully!

One of my stand-by recipes is Taco Meat . That recipe is nearly similar to the one I use, except that I make my own taco seasoning packet, and really only try to make it when I can find the ground beef on sale for about 99-cents a pound. Did you know that if you rinse your ground beef, even if it started out as the fattiest cut (let's say 70/30) it will be leaner than even one of the leanest cut you can buy?! I just told my 83-year-old grandma about that little trick the other day. Since I was feeling adventurous, in this last batch I used some store-bought Habanero Salsa. The taco meat is so scorching spicy, I think we'll have to eat about 20% meat, 40% sour cream and 40% cheese in each taco! Better than throwing it away, I 'spose.



Another family favorite is Swiss Chicken. The recipe I've always used has white cooking wine in place of the water/broth & I just usually use whatever condensed soup I have on hand or that someone has given us. I bought a big bag of seasoned stuffing on clearance awhile back & have been using it for this recipe ever since. A bit of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter in place of the real butter helps to lower the calorie content too.


A new recipe that I tried last weekend was these Jalapeno Cheddar Scones. I served them with some easy homemade Chili (destined for the freezer!) and they were super delish. A friend just happened to have some jalapenos on her kitchen counter, so I helped myself to a couple. I froze a few of the scones and passed on a few to a friend with a new baby. These are so yummy and are a great change-up from my usual cornbread-with-chili menu. Next time, I'm making a bigger batch! The blog that this recipe came from is a MUST READ. I have been away for far too long & look forward to drooling on my keyboard catching up with all the yummy recipe goodness. ( I think next week, on our week off of school, we will be diving into some of these Apple Cider Donuts!)

And I've saved the best for last. I have successfully frozen little patties of cookie dough from the recipe The Whole Jar of Peanut Butter Cookies. I *love* being able to whip out a homemade dessert on a moment's notice. We are able to have a tasty treat after supper on many occasions, since the dough is already prepared. I think a nice homemade sweet treat also makes us all feel special, regardless of our severely reduced income and grocery budget. I simply follow the recipe, chill the dough, use a cookie scoop to portion out, dip a fork in sugar to make the classic criss-cross design, then flash freeze and bag up. Bake 'em at 350° F for 13 minutes. Or, you could just eat them straight out the freezer, with your husband,  and the freezer door still wide open, pretending that this-is-perfectly-normal-since-they-do-sell-ice-cream-with-cookie-dough-in-it, all the while saying "Mmmm. Mmmm. Good."

Not that I'm saying I've ever done that.

Nope. Not me.

Hope you enjoyed this peek into my freezer. Got any goodies in yours?

Good Ole Ben

Excerpt from Exploring American History about Benjamin Franklin:

 He kept a little book in which he wrote down his faults. If he wasted half an hour of time or a shilling of money, or said anything that he should not have said, he wrote it down in his book. He carried that book in his pocket all his life, and he studied it, as a boy at school studies a hard lesson.

Can you even imagine? I would hate to keep track of my own faults for a day, let alone for my entire life AND to study them. Ever since we read this as part of our History lesson last Monday, it has rattled around in my mind. What would we learn about ourselves if we committed to this practice, even if only for a day? Even though part of me shudders at the thought, the other part of me has been chalking up mental tally marks every time I err or waste something or say the wrong thing. Quite a lesson, I tell ya.

And what did Good Ole Ben learn from this practice? Our history book says that his lessons were three: Do the right thing; do it at the right time; do it in the right way. And honestly, it seems like pretty sound advice. Now that I've read about the lessons he had learned, I am analyzing the things that I do or that others do that just don't seem to be quite right and have found that they usually fit into one of those three categories. Either I did the completely wrong thing or maybe my husband had good intentions but his timing was off or perhaps my friend was trying to do the right thing but her message got lost because of an inappropriate delivery. It's no wonder Ben went on to help pen the Declaration of Independence.

Amazing what God can use when we are listening. Like a third-grader's history lesson about Benjamin Franklin.

If Every Day Were an Aldi Day

It all started with an envelope in the mail.

Inside were two Aldi gift certificates and a card with simple but powerful words: Your heavenly Father knows. Thank you. You know who you are.

And then there was an email from another friend asking if we would like another Aldi gift certificate. Thank you. You know who you are.

Guess God owns some serious shares of Aldi stock!

During my first Aldi run, the man behind me was using a gift certificate, but only had about $15 worth of merchandise for his $25 certificate.

"Sir, I can't give you any cash back and you still have $10 left on the gift certificate."

"Well, I don't want any cash back."

"But Sir, why don't you just go buy yourself some meat or something?"

"Nah...... Hey! Can I just give the lady behind me the rest of the certificate?"

"Uh...." Calls the manager over. "This guy wants to give that lady the rest of his gift card. Can we do that?......No, Sir. We can't do that."

Everyone stands around looking at each other.

Well, I couldn't help myself, now could I?

Me: Well, how about if you just ring up that lady's groceries along with his and just let this guy go on his merry way with his groceries?

The manager smiles. The cashier smiles. The guy smiles. The lady smiles. I smile.

And then I nearly start crying. I guess because I witnessed a simple act of goodness that almost didn't happen. Then, while I was still joyful about that random kindness, as I was loading my groceries into my van, a hippie man came up to me and wanted to take my cart. Upon seeing my 40 lb bag of softener salt, he kindly said, May I? Then proceed to load it up for me.

If every day were an Aldi day, we'd give out of our abundance to those who are in need. We wouldn't need unemployment because those making extra would give generously to those not having enough. We wouldn't buy more just because we could, but we'd pay for the person behind us just because. If every day were an Aldi day, we'd help one another without thinking about how we might be inconvenienced.  

And we'd do it with a smile.

11 and Counting

appropriately subtitled, "How I spent my anniversary"

Just because we are low in the funds department did NOT mean we had to keep our anniversary celebrating to a minimum! Last Friday was the actual anniversary day, which coincidentally, we were also married on a Friday so it was neat to see the days line up perfectly! I loved being able to say "At exactly this time eleven years ago we were.....". I served Lasagna Spirals for our family lunch and was planning on making some Chinese food for the Hubs and I for dinner, but on the spur of the moment, we decided to take our Chinese on the road and share it with some friends.

Remember the days when you were still dating and you would just up and decide to go here-and-there or drop by a friends' house or just stay up late hangin' out or playing games?? Well, it kinda felt like that. It was great! Both of our families put our wee ones to bed and then the grown-ups played a mean game of Phase 10, while the other chitlins played Uno and watched movies. When we realized that it was already 10 pm, it was time to head out and put our munchkins to bed. Next time, we're doin' a sleepover ya'll!

Saturday saw our kids head off to grandmas to give Mom and Dad some much needed alone time. We used a Red Lobster gift card (with coupon!) to enjoy our selves a quiet lunch. We did some window shopping too: JoAnn's for me and Guitar Center for him, then browsed at Target, picking up a couple of gifts with gift cards as well. We hit the library right before closing time to get ourselves a couple of free movies, which we enjoyed with some late night pizza from the freezer and IBC root beer (my favorite!) that had been stashed away in the fridge. We went to bed early *grin* and slept in late...well, at least I did.

So, we spent hardly any money to celebrate our 11th year of marriage. But really, you can't put a price tag on great conversation and buckets of laughs. There's been lots of ups and downs these last eleven years, especially this last year.

But ya know what else is priceless?

Knowing that there's no one else that I rather be on that roller coaster with.

Praying for YOU

In honor of Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day

I am thinking of and praying for YOU today.  

YOU, who have no living children, yet have the heart of a mother.  

YOU, who while pregnant after a loss, have a heart of fear; loving your child within yet still longing for your child in heaven.  

YOU, who feel you have been robbed of the innocent joy that a pregnancy can bring, knowing all too well that sometimes things don't turn out the way you plan them.

YOU, who are still suffering in your grief after the death of your child.  

YOU, who heard the words, "I'm sorry. We can't find a heartbeat." 

YOU, who had a baby shower, decorated a nursery, picked a name, yet did not bring a baby home from the hospital.


YOU, who don't know how to answer the casual question, "So, how many children do you have?"

YOU, who have part of your family living on earth and part living in heaven.

And while I pray for YOU, I pray for ME at the same time. And I thank Him for YOU, for being my friend and for walking the hard road with me.

Missing for Five

I think this quote I stumbled upon says it best:

For a short time, I had your body in my body.
I carried your belly in my belly.
And now, though I have your heart in my heart and feel your soul in my soul,
I will never have your hand in my hand.
I miss your life in my life.

I have been missing Olivia for five months now. Missing the way she would've fit into our lives, the way she would've been growing, the joy she would've brought, the sleepless newborn nights and endless warm snuggles. Missing her life in mine.

What's next, Lord?

I am still here. Trudging through life. And I want to explain why. Why it's difficult to post as much as I'd like to.

I should probably start this post by turning the calendar back a few months. It was about mid-August and the Husband was merrily driving a dump truck for someone else and was approached about a job opportunity for our small business. After much debate, prayer and wise counsel, we decided to accept this opportunity to do staffing and management for heavy machinery operators for a short-term project, with the hope that more short-term projects would follow. We felt, and still do, that God was leading us in that direction and that His blessing was on our decision. Unfortunately, "short-term" has turned out to be much shorter than we were led to believe and have had only one great month of work.

It was a exciting, sometimes stressful, logistical roller coaster that we have been on, going from the Husband as our only employee to a team of about twelve. I went from crafty, homeschooling, full-time mom, to being the newly crowned CFO of our little company. We were so blessed to have been able to provide work for others who needed it and for that, I am grateful. Now, though, the roller coaster has come to a screeching halt. The job progressed faster than expected. The weather has been rainy here, not conducive to the type of truck work that we have been involved with. So we waited for the ground to dry up. And waited. And waited some more.

Today is the first (partial) day of work for the month of October and the month is nearly half over. No work means no money. We are both scared. We are selling off personal possessions now and the Husband gave his first plasma donation last week. Even amidst much prayer, I have that heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach. It's so difficult not to worry, even though I know that it won't add an hour to my life. I shake my head in disbelief that after all we have gone through already this year that God would still ask more of me. I already feel so beaten down by life and to even think about losing the home that I cherish seems like just more than I could handle. Grief is particularly taxing on a marriage, not to mention the added stress of our job situation. To put it nicely, it just makes things not-so-pretty around here sometimes.

All of that job tumult makes it hard to post about other things. Things like new recipes, what a great privilege it is to be a mom, how much I love fall, the blessing of great friends, the amazing adventure we call homeschooling, and the goodness of and wrestling with God through all these struggles.

Lately when the people that love me casually ask, "So how are you?", I have come up with my own version of an honest & clever answer: Do you want me to tell you the truth or do you want me to say 'fine' just so you can be comfortable?

The Husband has his own answer:

Life is rough, but God is good.

I think I like his better.

Trisomy 21

Lately I have found myself thinking a lot about Trisomy 21 and wishing Olivia had IT, instead of Trisomy 18. What would she be like, what would our life be like, if only the 21st chromosome were affected instead of the 18th? Do you know the common name for Trisomy 21?

Down Syndrome.

Is it a coincidence that out of the last handful of books that I have read, two of them (The Memory Keeper's Daughter & Just Beyond the Clouds) have centered around children/people affected by down syndrome? I have been privileged to read about the special lives that that T21 families lead, like Emmie and Bennett , and I've followed a journey through the NICU for Fiesty Kaelyn. For some strange reason, more and more, I am feeling a kinship with families like those and others who have been touched by Down's. Maybe because, although Olivia is in heaven, our lives were touched by a Trisomy, albeit not the exact same one. In honor of October being Down Syndrome Awareness Month, I've added a button to the sidebar of my blog. If you feel so inclined to raise awareness, you can add one to yours too, but visiting this post. Stop by some of the families I've mentioned and show them some love too!

W is for...

Wednesday! Well, not only that, but for Old World Wisconsin, too! Remember how last week we were on break from school? Well, I planned some fun family activities to build great memories and just plain enjoy our time off. We kicked off the week with a visit to a friend. Then on Tuesday, I took the girls to see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. {You can sign up for Movie Time emails here for Classic Cinemas and automatically earn yourself a free popcorn coupon. Obviously, you should wait to sign up until you're prepared to use the coupon.} Our BIG outing of the week was to Old World Wisconsin. We packed a picnic lunch and the weather was perfectly lovely for a day outside. It was so much more than a museum. I guess I would classify it as 'living history'; one of the biggest ones in the world at 576 acres. There were animals roaming about the various houses, people tending gardens, a teacher in the schoolhouse, and characters just going about daily chores. This place was great for all ages. The Husband was really excited to go and I'd have to admit that I was too. I'll just let the pictures speak for themselves.

Some of these cast iron stoves were actually lit, so the people 'living' in the house would warn you, in case you had little ones in your group. A lady had just taken some soda bread out of one of the ovens, just as we had arrived.

 

 

Can you tell that I was totally mesmerized by the General Store? I mean...fabric...buttons...yarn!

The girls helping take the wash off the line.

My grandma has a treadle sewing machine just like this one.

I was almost expecting things in the 'exhibits' to be fake, call it "museum mentality". I actually squeezed one of these tomatoes just to be sure.

Check out that cheeeesey smile! I just couldn't help myself to a few little comments here and there. We all loved our week break. I can't wait to plan some fun things for the next one!

Life Lessons from the Veggies

While driving home from a friend's house the other night, our family began to break into song. This happens more than you might think around here, especially with worship songs and tunes on Christian radio. The girls started it and the parents just kinda jumped right in. It's a tune from a Veggie video called, "Where is God when I'm scared?" The part that we belted out was the chorus of song, which went like this:

God is bigger than the Boogie Man.
He's bigger than Godzilla or the monsters on TV.
Oh, God is bigger than the Boogie Man
And He's watching out for you and me.

I turned to the Husband and said, God is bigger than death {meaning Olivia's} and bigger than unemployment. After a moment of quiet I asked, Could it really be that simple? The Husband said, I think it really is THAT simple. Maybe that's what 'faith like a child' is all about. That we just take what our Father tells us and believe it 100%.

The next morning, Sunday, Hubs went for a run and after coming home said that he had a song stuck in his head the entire time. What song? God is bigger than the Boogie Man....

So, if you were a singing vegetable, how would YOUR song go? "God is bigger than _________."

Trusting the Truth that God is Bigger,

Five Weeks Already?

My creatively developed schedule for this year allows for "5 weeks On and 1 week Off" of school. I think I love it. Last Friday marked the last day of the first 5 week stretch. We are planning some fun field trips for this week and I will be pre-planning for the next five weeks. Here's a look back at what & how things are working for us!

Sienna

Curriculum: Little Hands to Heaven

Bible/History: So far we have studied the Creation Story, Noah, Cain and Abel, Abraham and Sarah, Joseph.

Letters: A-D with all sorts of different actitivies, both fine and gross motor skills. We have learned a weekly rhyme/fingerplay that corresponds to each letter sound and incorporates the current Bible story. Each week we make a large letter on the carpet with blue painter's tape. Makes for a great visual and opportunities for lots of creative play: walking on the letter, walking a stuffed animal on the letter, trying to 'feel' the letter with our feet while our eyes are closed, placing wooden blocks on the letter to cover it up, plus just the constant visual of the letter we are studying. This is a great idea for any-kind-of-schooler for letter recognition!

Numbers: 1-5

Nature: As a means of learning through God's Creation, we are incorporating nature walks into our week and everyday life. We have added several pages to our nature journal, looked up different kinds of birds and flowers online and have caught several spiders to keep as temporary 'pets'. We keep these pets in little glass jars and the most exciting part for the kids is when they spin webs inside the jars. Creepy, I know.

Tatiana

Curriculum: Adventures in My Father's World

Bible: The Hubs is handling the Bible section. They are studying a different 'name' of Jesus each week and are making a Names of Jesus poster. There is also a memory verse that goes along with each week and the two of them have been looking up lots of different Bible verses (Sword Drill!) and discussing them. This has been a really great way to get Dad involved in schooling and a practical way that he can demonstrate his spiritual leadership of our family.

History: Pilgrims. Again. I balked at this fact when I decided to switch curriculum, but find it working out more pleasantly than I thought. I think being a year older, Tatiana can learn at a deeper level and since the subject matter is somewhat familiar, she can focus on more specifics. We've also started a U.S. Notebook, which will be filled with various pages pertaining to U.S. History, including a brief study page on each of the 50 States. So far it has a few patriotic songs and some copywork/picture pages based on what we've been reading.

Book Basket: We love the book basket! This is just a collection of library books pertaining to our History topic. Tatiana looks through the books for 15 minutes a day. As long as she is reading them, she can pick and choose any one in the basket. The best part is that our the writers of our Christian curriculum have already pre-read all of the recommended books and they are listed in the appendix. I reserve all the ones I want online through our library system and just go pick them up when ready. This would be a great addition to any-kind-of-schooler's day, for supplemental parent-approved reading time!

Handwriting: We are using Pictures in Cursive by Queen Homeschool and really love it. Each group of lessons is actually a picture study of a fine piece of artwork. I love the idea that Tatiana is being exposed to great art and that it is integrated with the cursive lessons, as opposed to just writing something unrelated like "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog".

Spelling: We are using Spelling Wisdom. She learns to identify 'trouble' words and these become her spelling words. Each lesson is a quote, virtue, or piece of good literature. Tatiana learns to spell the words through a serious of specific steps and the 'test' is actually a dictation of the lesson. Again, I love that the words are within the context of a good value, instead of just random words. It's a reminder to me to discuss some of these virtues and what they mean for our everyday lives

Read-Aloud: Squanto, Friend of the Pilgrims by Clyde Bulla

Independent Reading: So far, Tatiana has polished off Kit Kitteredge: An American Girl, Mystery in the Theatre: An American Girl Mystery, and a biography of Helen Keller. She has just started on a book called Hannah.

Math: We are still plugging along with Singapore Math. I have thought about switching many times, but have been unsure whether the curriculum is the problem or whether it's just a weak spot for this particular child. I've come to the conclusion that I think it's a little of both. I am supplementing with flash card, fun workbooks pertaining to the exact skill being learned (multiplication/division) and the biggest change so far has been my/our attitudes. We are playing lots of games to MAKE MATH FUN. I think if it's not such a drag for Tati then it won't be one for me either. I've found ideas for dice games, math bingo games, and more.

Science: We've had some intro lessons one What Science Is and What Scientist Do and right now are focusing on constellations and His Creation of the universe. I highly recommend the book Constellations for Every Kid by Janice Van Cleave. I find it very extraordinary for parental learning as well as for children loaded with great activities to make star-gazing doable for the everyday kid. I hope to squeeze in some of these activities this week, as the kiddos will be able to stay up later since we won't have our normal school schedule during the days.

And I can't neglect to leave my little guy out. He's what makes me want to pull my hair out our school days challenging!

Phew! Thanks for humoring my school days recap!

Quatro Meses

It has been four long months.

Four months...

...since Olivia left us....

...of snuggling and sleeping with a baby blanket, instead of with a baby...

...of painful memories...

...of trying to put back together the pieces of all that has been broken...

...since the miracle we hoped for was lost...

...of longing for Heaven like never before...

...of spoiling our other three children on earth...

...of trying to make sense of that which just can't be understood...

...of sleepless nights and tear-stained pillows...

...of wondering what Olivia's legacy will be...

...of running to God and running away from Him...

...of imagining how things could've turned out differently...

...of dreaming of how Olivia looks in her Heavenly body...

...of missing the joy of another daughter.

Oh, Olivia. Mommy still cries great big tears for you. How I selfishly wish you were here.  It seems like forever since I felt your little fluttery kicks. My heart still aches to have you near and hold you in my arms. Will our family ever feel complete while we are seperated by eternity? Will my heart ever feel whole again? I miss you, sweet baby girl. I miss you something awful.

The Gathering

I just finished reading another novel. I guess I might officially be considered a bookworm. I read The Memory Keeper's Daughter; a book about a choice a man made which altered the course of his life and many of the lives around him.

The year was 1964. A surgeon and his wife were pregnant with their first child. There was a snowstorm and no time to make it to the hospital. The baby, a son, was delivered in his medical office by the surgeon and his nurse. They used gas to make laboring women unconscious in those days. There was a second baby. Unexpected twins. But something wasn't quite right. A daughter. With Down's Syndrome. This father made a choice. To send the baby to an institution. Not totally uncommon in those days. It was all in the nurse's hands now. He was trying to spare his wife some grief, but he didn't realize the ripple effect that his choice would create. 

I won't divulge any more to you, in case you decide to read it. I guess it was particularly moving for me because I could relate to the way that some of the characters behaved because of their grief. Near the beginning of the book I found myself wondering if I could continue reading it. It was as if the author was explaining the innermost workings of grief that I didn't want displayed in writing for all the world to read. One of the lines the author uses, when referring to the choice the surgeon makes at the time of delivery, is that it was "the moment around which all others would gather". I think I read and reread that line many times. That just makes a world of sense to me. It's almost as if that powerful life moment is magnetic; everything happening beyond that time drawn in around it. I wonder if that is what Olivia's life and death will be for me. A defining moment. A lens through which I view everything else that happens from this point forward. A moment around which all would others will gather. It has irreversibly shaped me, for sure. But then I got to thinking about another moment.

The year was 1993. A fifteen year old girl sits in the middle of simple church somewhere over-the-border in Mexico. She is on a missions trip, planning to evangelize and help with house building in the barrios. She knew God and thought she was going to Heaven. After all, she was a 'good' girl and had heard about Jesus. Why wouldn't He let her in? At one of their first nightly sessions, a pastor and a musician gave an altar call. If you choose to believe in Him, give your life over to Him, and to live for Him, please come forward. Every other student in attendance flocked to the front in reply. Every single one. But not this girl. She somehow understood the gravity of the moment, the seriousness of this decision, one that would change her life forever and seal her eternal destination. She wasn't moved by emotion, but sat in deep contemplation, counting the cost of what this decision would mean. Finally, after many tears and much thought and prayer, she went forward. I believe, in that moment, the angels sang a little louder. A moment around which all others would gather.

Two completely different moments. That second one making the first one more bearable. Both, I believe, meant for the same purpose. To draw me to Jesus.

Missing at the Zoo

       Dear Olivia,

       Today would've been your first trip to the zoo. If things had gone as I had planned, you would be only a few weeks old by now. With that considered, you probably would've slept through most of this outing! I found myself missing you a lot today. Maybe because today fell into the 'special family outing' category and so my motherly heart just felt incomplete without you here. While driving to Madison, I even looked back several times in the mini-van, trying to imagine your little car-seat there, amongst your brother and sisters. Would I have had to 'shush' them so as not to wake you up? Your big brother would not have understood. Maybe by now, you would have adjusted to his screeeeches and learned to sleep through them.

       We traveled with another family, some of our nearest and dearest friends. While stopping at a restaurant on the way, Mommy's friend let me carry their one-year-old baby girl inside. I loved unbuckling her from her little carseat and the feeling of her weight of against my body. That was a gift to me. I managed to croak out some words of thanks, but I'm not sure my friend could really understand that gift of just letting me hold her daughter. It made me miss you more and less, all at the same time. We used the double stroller at the zoo, although one seat remained empty for most of the time. I thought it fitting though. You should've been there, Olivia, in that empty seat.

       Your sisters were so excited to move from exhibit to exhibit. Your brother though, was just anxious to find a way to get out of that stroller! I think he was tired of being strapped in. I know you wouldn't have minded though, being so little. Would we have taken the snuggly along for you to ride in? Or maybe the baby sling? It was such a beautiful day. Perfect weather for a newborn, really. It was kinda ironic in a way, because it was raining and drearily miserable at home, but mildly warm with sunny blue skies at the zoo. In my version of Heaven, the weather would be just like it was today.

       Your dad and I read many of the signs that accompanied each exhibit, trying to fit in some learning for your sisters along the way. At one particular stop, we watched an American Black Bear roaming around his fake habitat. At about the same time, both Dad and I read that the black bear babies are born weighing less than a pound-and-a-half. I cradled my arms and cried out, "That was about the size of Olivia!" It was amazing to look at that big black bear and think that once upon a time he was just so itty bitty.

       We built some nice memories as a family today. Even though you were not physically here, sweet girl, you were ever present, my thoughts of you intertwined with those memories being made. On our way home, despite some lingering sadness, I remember looking out the window, sunglasses on, warmth on my face and being reminded of my devotional this morning on Deuteronomy 30:19 about a choice that I have. A choice that has been so hard for me to make, to just keep on living and not let myself wither away inside. But I think you would've been proud of me as your Momma today. Because in that moment, even though I was missing you terribly, I said to myself, "I choose life." And that was a great moment, I think. It is only more evidence of how someone so small (you!) has had such great impact, even beyond the grave.

       I'm sure your day was perfect today, as I would think all days in Heaven are. Just know that even though you are gone from this earth, you are not forgotten and are still missed dearly. Especially on days like today.

       Love,

       Mommy

Drumroll please...

By way of a random number generator, the winner of the Hair Candy is...

comment #3:  

stephanie said...

Becki their lovely. You're so stinkin' crafty!

3:01 PM

That's the stephanie from Daily Smiles! (Not to be confused with the Stephanie from Like a Fish Out of Water). So send me your details stephanie and your Hair Candy will be on it's way!

And to answer your questions:

I would love to take orders, but no, I do not have Etsy. I guess I've always been worried that it would just be another thing to have to 'keep up with', if you know what I mean. If something like these hair bows interests you and you find a picture online, drop me an email and I can see what we can come up with!

Hair Candy

It has been quite the stressful week, to put it mildly. Thankfully not particularly grief related stress, but more business/financial stress. That and we dove into our homeschooling year with a 3rd grader and a newly crowned preschooler. What's a girl to do when the stress-o-meter is in the red zone? A whole lotta prayin' of course!

But a little crafty project doesn't hurt either and since I've been wanting to make some of these 'boutique-style hairbows' for quite a bit now, this seemed like the perfect time to do it. I headed over to Hobby Lobby where all the ribbons where 50% off to get some supplies. Armed with a slew of tutorials from this website, a good chick flick, and my design consultant (a.k.a. world's best sister-in-law), I was ready to get creative!

The results?

:: close-up ::

:: the daughters & my niece 'putting their heads together' ::

Some of the ribbon folding (or in my case, finnagling) was a little trickier than I expected, but I muddled through. Unfortunately, one of my creations came a little 'undone' the next day, which I consider a lesson to be learned. The whole idea is a totally-over-the-top accessory that is the icing on the cake of a cute outfit or cute kid, as it were.



I really do love these. Love 'em. I was especially tickled that my four-year-old was just delighted throughout the day to have it in her hair. She even requested to wear it again when we went out later that night. I can't wait to make more, but am waiting until the ribbons go on sale again, of course!

And since I've really felt the love from your comments lately, I am giving one away! This creation (slightly different than the ones above) can be yours for a sweet little girl in your life.


It is attached to a metal french clip, so your girlie would have to have some hair to clip it to (or maybe save it for when she has enough)! Simply leave your name in the comments section to enter. You have until Tuesday at midnight to comment and I will announce the winner on Wednesday morning.

Good luck!

One lump or two?

Yes. I'm still alive. I really don't have much that's monumental to say. It's confusing to be writing posts about parties, recipes, homeschooling or crafts on one day and writing about my emotional pain and grief on the next. I'm not sure if it seems fitting to be mixing those things all up together. There really isn't any better picture though, than to see all those things sitting side-by-side, even if it doesn't make a lot of topical sense. That's my life. It might not look pretty. It might look confusing. But it is what it is. So bear with me as this blog continues as a melting pot of joy, sadness, practicality and creativity. And now, I have some catching up to do....

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What type of birthday does the child of a creative mother have? A non-traditional one, for sure! My not-quite-eight-at-the-time daughter chose an American Girl tea party as her theme. We created our own invitations:


Frugal party games, including musical chairs, ping-pong ball toss, and pin-the-bow-on-the-American-Girl:

Those little white flower papers aren't supposed to be there, but little fingers got to the poster before I could take a picture!

Don't laugh. I'm no artist. I just try really hard. We decorated with pink and white streamers, china tea cups with cloth napkins, pink party plates, and every little girl guest got a small crown. This is a fancy tea party, after all.


For treats, we had chocolate shortbread cookies, elephant ears, and what would a proper tea party be without scones?? Improper, that's what. I had plenty of help, of course.



I made the same scone recipe {Buttermilk Scones from Baking with Julia}, but divided the dough for kids and adults: chocolate chip with cinnamon sugar for the Littles and Door County dried berry scones for the Bigs. I even made a faux clotted cream for spreading on top. Can you gather yet that I used to work at a tea room? The younger guests drank apple juice instead of tea and the adults had java. Did I mention that I made my very first ice cream cake? The birthday girl requested one and....do you know how crazy expensive those things are to buy at the ice cream shop?


The birthday girl received many lovely gifts, along with some cute new things for Mia, her American Girl doll. Here are the two of them sporting their nifty swim gear:


I hope that everyone had a lovely time. I know these guests did:

See that kinda scary looking doll all the way on the left? That was one of my mom's first dolls and the first of it's kind with movable legs!

Tatiana and all the Grandmas. Yes. She has many. At one time, she had 6 living Grandmas!
(from left to right: my step-mom, my Grandma, my mom with Tatiana, and my mother-in-law}

Celebrating my Eight year old blessing,

A Tasty Motto

:: Life is short........lick the bowl!::