Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Dare to Hope?

First I want to thank all of you for your prayers and support and encouraging words and offers of help. They mean more to us than you could know. As my wife says, you have been “Jesus with skin on” to us.

As many of you know, when you get a lot of information in a really short time, something gets missed, so I wanted to share some more details with you all that I forgot two days ago. One detail is that Olivia also has a cleft left palate, and a misshapen head. All of the previous things and these things put together lead the dr in Rockford (dr R) to believe there is a chromosome problem. Also, many might not have known, but Beck had high blood pressure from the beginning of this pregnancy and was recently put on blood pressure meds. The dr R from Monday believes that this indicates chronic hypertension which would definitely affect the placenta and therefore Olivia’s growth.

Yesterday, I spoke with dr R and he did tell me that Olivia did grow between ultrasounds, but nowhere near the minimum amount that they like to see. But that is better than absolutely zero growth. At this point, we are waiting at home and waiting for the first result from the amnio, which should arrive between Thursday and Saturday, and then dr R will call us.

As I have had time to think and pray and absorb the information, I feel all sorts of things: fear, anxiety, pain, questioning, doubt, … I don’t know but the LORD reminded me the following lyrics:

I’ve walked the valley of death’s shadow
So deep and dark that I could barely breathe
I’ve had to let go of more than I could bear
And questioned everything that I believe
But still even here
in this great darkness
A comfort and hope come breaking through
As I can say in life or death
God we belong to you.

--Steven Curtis Chapman, “Yours”, 2008 Radio Version

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. --Philippians 4:6-7

Many of you have asked how to pray, so I ask that you specifically pray for the following:

Pray for Beck’s blood pressure, for the placenta to work right, for the umbilical cord to open up and supply Olivia’s needs, for Olivia’s heart to work right, for Olivia’s brain to develop right, for Olivia’s hands to open. I want to dare to hope for the healing only the LORD and trust the Him that Olivia belongs to Him, as does Sebastian, Sienna and Tatiana. Thank you all for your love and prayers.


PS-Beck is reading the comments is very thankful for all the support.


Erin said...

Thank you for sharing with us. Your information is important and guiding as I know specifically what to pray for now.

I can tell you that you are on my mind, heart and lips as I offer up words of pleading praise to our God.

I pray that each step you take will seem as though God himself is right there holding your hands and guiding you. And that during this time you will rely on the people around you who care enough to want to do something tangable during this time.

((hugs)) from the unhugable.

Hollie said...

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
~Psalm 139:13-16~

God has a purpose and a plan for your little Olivia! Praying for you all!

Anonymous said...

Praying still. Thanks for updating us. Love you guys and am thinking continously for your whole family. Bec, I love you a ton and just want to come hold you.

Stephanie said...

I'm still thinking of you and praying for you often!

Let me know if there is anything I can do - really! I would be happy to take on 3 kids if you need me to. I'm sure Jaedon and Audrey would love the playmates!

Anna said...

Praying hard. Love you guys!