Prepare for Take-off

I have scheduled this post to occur at the exact same time our flight will be lifting off, taking us to Orlando. This Disney World trip has been years in the making and it's so exciting to see it finally come to fruition! I am in charge of all the planning and Grandma (my mom) is in charge of all the paying. (Quite the deal, huh?!) I think all the months I have spent on researching details (both big and small) nearly amounts to a part-time job. And being the creative spirit that I am, I just couldn't help but add as many little *magic* touches as possible. Here are a few, in no particular order:

:: Disney themed korker ribbon pony tail holders ::

 :: invitation cards for all our special Disney meals ::

:: jewelry, courtesty of Grandma. bracelet for me, earrings for the girls. that middle pair are clip-ons since Sienna doesn't have her ears pierced. ::

:: sweatshirts for the our all-girl gang. i couldn't find one in Tatiana's size so I purchased a zip up hoodie from the thrift store::

:: close-up of the applique work ::

:: id tag. i made one for both girls because you just never know ::

He Carries Me

In Honor of one year without Olivia (05.14.09) ~

There were photographs I wanted to take; things I wanted to show you....

:: my niece and daughters, except for Olivia ::

:: an (almost) family Christmas picture ::

People say that I am brave but I`m not. Truth is I`m barely hanging on.
But there`s a greater story, written long before me, because He loves you like this.

So I will carry you, while your heart beats here.
Long beyond the empty cradle, through the coming years.

I will carry you, all my life.
And I will praise the One who`s chosen me to carry you.

Such a short time, such a long road. 

All this madness, but I know 

 that the silence has brought me to His voice and He says....

I`ve shown her photographs of time beginning, walked her through the parted seas, 

 angel lullabies, no more teary eyes.

Who could love her like this?

P. S. These words are taken from the lyrics of the song "I Will Carry You" by Selah based on Audrey Caroline's story, which you can read about at Bring the Rain. I think these simple words sum up the course of this last year better than any earthly words written by me could.

Captured.

I captured this heart-warming conversation between my oldest daughter and my Husband on IM last week:

Tatiana:

Good morning Dad how are you?

Dad:

Morning tati I'm OK. How are you?

Tatiana:

I'm OK

Dad:

what r u doing?

Tatiana:

Eating breakfast and IMing u.

Dad:

wow! u r talented. have i told u how special u r?

Tatiana:

I think so

Dad:

just want 2 make sure u know. i love you but more important Jesus loves u

Tatiana:

Good. When do you get you'r paycheck?

Dad:

well deposited a check 2day will have another maybe 2mrow or monday

Tatiana:

Ok cause i was thinking tomorrow if you get the check we can go somewhere for dinner tomorrow.

Dad:

sounds good 2me

we have to check with mom 1st

Tatiana:

Alright i gotta G-o because Spud wants me to play outside with him.Bye

Dad:

K. LOVE YOU

It cracks me up that Daddy is trying to convey his love and talk about Jesus, while my daughter just wants to know about Daddy's paycheck!

Real?

I do, sometimes, loathe the internet. Now that that's out of the way, I'll go on to explain myself.

I think I might've been born in the wrong era. I like face-to-face conversations. I like being able to read another person's facial expressions instead of having to infer them from an email or emoticon. I do appreciate online ((hugs)), but can anything really replace the feeling of having another wrap their arms around you in a heartfelt embrace? I love getting personal emails (no forwards please!), but there's just something about a stamped letter arriving in my mailbox, with a scrawled message in the unique handwriting of a friend, that just can't compare.

I marvel at the ability of instant communication. Email, texting, INSTANT messaging, pm-ing. Our family has been enjoying the benefits of IMing, which I will share tomorrow in another post. Sometimes I wonder though, if this ability is actually enabling us to not put as much effort into "real" relationships. Do we make as much time for actual people as we do for our inbox? It's not as easy, but I think it's more rewarding.

We all have busy lives and responsibilities that demand our time, energy, and attention. Real relationships are a sacrifice and something that we need to allow room for in our hectic lives. I can't remember the last time I mailed a hnad-written letter, but I make time for phone calls. I make time for house-to-house visits. Whenever I'm in the town where several of my friends live, I try to stop-by and say Hello as much as possible. I plan get-togethers.  I'm not sure if these gestures go unnoticed or if a quick 3-line email is appreciated just as much. 

I'm the kind of girl who loves to curl up with a hot cuppa something in a quaint coffee shop and spend a few hours chatting about life. Let's sit on your front porch with a cold glass of ice tea while we watch our children play. Let's turn off the hard drives and at least put the cell phones on vibrate for just a little while. I realize that with far-flung family and friends, sometimes this just isn't possible. And email is useful for so many things. It's just that it's so much easier to see the pain, buoy the hope, roar with laughter, share the tears when you're sitting by my side instead of in front of your monitor.

Be blessed,

Box Day

"Box day" is the term homeschoolers use for the exciting day when new curriculum arrives in the mail. It is very exciting! Tatiana had to stop in the middle of our lessons to peruse her goodies for next year (4th grade):

And chocolate was included! It just touches this Mama's heart to see my kids so excited about the year to come. I'm sure by this time of year many students just can't wait to finish this school year, let alone get excited about the next. (Although this teacher is excited about having a long summer break!)

Pieces of Me: THE Recipe

The first thing that I ever cooked by myself was Bisquick pancakes. I was probably about 9ish. I thought it was so impressive to be able to make a meal for my parents (as opposed to the other way around). I think it was this foray into pancake-making that lit the culinary flame that never has gone out. Fast forward a few years...

My mom had an old version of a Betty Crocker cookbook. It was red and thick and very well-loved (aka used-until-it-was-falling-apart). Some of my (and my brother's!) favorite pictures in that cookbook were of the birthday cakes. I remember that a few of them even were circled in pen, by some very hopeful children. The very first REAL recipe I made was from that cookbook. I was just so amazed to make something that adults loved and that people would pay big money for in restaurants. I was probably just a young tween when I made this for the first time and I recently came across it again while transferring my recipes to OneNote. I will always cherish it as THE recipe that started it all.

Company Cheesecake

Betty Crocker

Makes 12 servings

1 1/4 c. graham cracker crumbs

2 T. sugar

3 T. butter, melted

20 oz. cream cheese, softened

1 c. sugar

1/4 t. vanilla

3 eggs

1 c. sour cream

Procedure:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Stir cracker crumbs & sugar together. Mix in butter. Press into bottom of 9" springform pan. Bake 10 minutes. Cool. Reduce oven temperature to 300 degrees. Beat cream cheese in large bowl, until lump free, scraping sides and bottom of bowl. Gradually add 1 c. sugar, beat until fluffy. Scrape sides. Add vanilla. Beat in eggs, 1 at a time. Pour over crust. Bake 1 hour or until center is almost set. Cool to room temperature. Spread with sour cream. Chill at least 3 hours, better if overnight. Loosen edge with knife before removing side of pan. Wipe knife after each cut for nice clean slices. Yum!

Special Notes:

Can substitute one vanilla bean, split and scraped, for the vanilla extract.

Feeling Nostalgic,

P.S. Do you remember the first thing that you learned to cook/bake?

A Tilted Planet

I am in a renewed season of mourning. Kind of like renewing a lease. Only worse. Now that you know, I don't have to explain why more than a third of the month is gone and this little blog has been too quiet. I guess know it's because April 20, 2009 was the date we had our level 2 ultrasound and my world shifted on it's axis. (My true north was no longer near the pole anymore, but maybe more like somewhere in Canada.) And the anniversary of that date draws near. The memories are still nothing but painful, although now more of a dull ache instead of a raw piercing.

I have the best of intentions when it comes to making new blog posts. I get inspired. I take pictures, trying to find the best light. But when I imagine myself trying to sound giddy happy pleased about, oh, I don't know, a new recipe let's say, it just seems hollow. Because the grief has settled in again, following me wherever I go. 

Don't mistake me, there are moments of sweetness. I have been happy (at times) about Spring. I have felt swollen amazement when I look up at a crystal clear sky full of stars (no more winter cloud cover)! I have felt tickled at using my grill on warm Spring evenings and thinking about new and tasty grilled foods and side dishes. I have been totally inspired by my discovery of Foodzie (where have you been all my life?), which is like etsy, only for tasty, hand-crafted, natural artisan foods. I have enjoyed digging in my plots of earth  and planting little seeds. Tatiana and I were over-the-moon to get a box full of school books for next year. I even took pictures! 

But last year's memories linger, like a broken tooth that your tongue just can't seem to leave alone. Especially on days like Friday, when instead of my mail lady bringing books to my door, it was a slightly confused trucker with a small granite headstone on his dolly. 

Apparently, this delivery trucker usually takes his loads to the cemetery, not to a little white house with a homemaker nervously waiting at the front door.

"Do you get this kind of delivery here often?" he asked, slightly puzzled.

"No, sir..... Hopefully it's the only one I'll ever need."

And even that one has been almost more than I could bear.

P.S. Keyboard Soup. (Mom, you know what I mean.)

Clinging,

Adventures.

 I think breaks are good for everyone, as they leave us all feeling refreshed and ready to tackle what is before us. Just some of the many adventures that we have taken this week as we return to schooling from Spring Break....

:: Spring craft from Family Fun ::

:: Nature study. Hanging this homemade bird feeder right in front of our school room window has been splendid for bird watching! I also picked up a copy of Critters of Illinois pocket guide to add to our study materials. The Husband actually read through the whole guide, exclaiming interesting tid-bits for me to hear. Nature fun for everyone. ::

:: We made these egg holders from Family Fun magazine, but unfortunately they wouldn't hold our decorated hard-boiled egg. I spontaneously decided to "blow" an egg so the kids could see how it was done & so we'd have an egg light enough for the holder. Craft and science. ::

:: Literary aids. Log house inspired by our read-aloud On the Banks of Plum Creek. That outer area of the house is the "lean-to". We're becoming huge Laura Ingalls Wilder fans! (I also rented one of the Little House TV series seasons from the library!) ::

:: Science ::

:: Oobleck ::

:: Liquid or solid? ::

:: Fun for fingers of all ages! ::

Do breaks leave you feeling refreshed?

A Parable

From today's English lesson:

Once a fox and a stork were good friends. The fox invited the stork to dinner. All they had to eat was soup. It was in flat dishes. The stork could put only the tip of his bill into the dish. The fox lapped his soup up quickly.


The next day the stork invited the fox to dinner. They had soup again. This time it was in a bottle. The stork could put his bill in and drink it, but the fox could only lick the outside of the bottle.

When asked what the moral of the story was, Tatiana proclaimed, "Hospitality!" It led into a really great conversation about considering and meeting the needs of others. A small joy in an otherwise ordinary day.

Inspired.

To be more purposeful with girlfriend get-togethers :: How Can I Help Someone Else When I Have So Much to Do at Home? :: Preschoolers and Peace

Sewing for spring :: Fabric Easter basket :: Moda Bakeshop

Who knew what felt could do?? :: Gulf Coast Cottage :: Etsy

Crafting for Him :: Easter garland :: the homespun heart

Keep resting on Sunday (I pretty much do exactly what this post says!) :: How Can Sunday Be Restful with Little Ones? :: Preschoolers and Peace

Hmmmmm :: Relevant Conference

The Winter Past

Many people are eagerly anticipating Spring. Small children, gardeners, warm-weather lovers, lanscapers, normal-people-who-enjoy-decent-weather. And I used to be one of those people, opening my windows on the first day when the temperatures rose above 50° F. I have come to realize though, that because of my grief, I actually enjoyed winter. Winter just seemed fitting during that season of my grief. Desolate. Frozen.  Icy and beautiful at times. A gloomy cocoon at others. I would look up at the gray-white blanket of low lying clouds and feel insulated. It was as if nature was giving me a nod and telling me it's okay to have a time of frigid slumber.

I never would have guessed in a million years that I would ever not want Spring to come, especially being prone to seasonal-affectiveness like I am. These last few weeks I have been mentally, emotionally, and spiritually preparing myself for Spring's arrival. I'm sure it's no coincidence that the most recent book I read had the following verse as it's theme:

For behold, the winter is past, The rain is over, it is gone:
The flowers appear on the earth; The time of singing is come...

(Crazy how God can use something like a novel to reach our hearts, isn't it??) I'm not sure I'm going to be doing any singing, but it will be a time of reflection and remembering. The days when we first received Olivia's diagnosis are quickly approaching, as is the day of her birth. I remember many blue skies during those days. And those same blue skies are coming again. The earth will be celebrating. The laughter of children will float through my window on warm breezes. And I....I will be missing Olivia for one full year. I will be thawing out. I will find new ways to enjoy life. I will grow and I will grow something. And hopefully by the time next winter comes, I might not enjoy it as much.

Preparing for flowers,

Pieces of Me: Mug

As if you don't know me well enough, I will be doing a series on things that make me, me. Some serious, some silly. All uniquely moi. So without further ado....

...Meet my favorite mug.

Mug, meet my blog readers.

I received this from a friend for my birthday 2 years ago and have loved it ever since. I don't even think she knows how truly attached I am. I use it so often that sometimes it gets all stained inside and requires a good scrubbing. I love the color, the creative design, and the verse that says, "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. (Prov. 31:29)" I guess every time I use it I am reminded that the person that gave it to me loves me and feel the encouragement that the verse gives, like a little morning hug to go with my tea. Because as you will soon find out, I am not a coffee drinker.

My favorite mug does have a chip on the side of the rim, but it just adds to the cosy-ness of a favorite mug, dontcha think? If this mug should happen to meet an unfortunate demise at the hands of some careless carefree person, I will probably have to ask the original giver for a replacement. There's just something comforting about a lovely coffee mug.

Any one else have a favorite coffee (or tea!) mug?

Incredible, Jr.

This Incredibles suit has gotten more use and laughs than any other costume in our house. It is on its third child now. Sebastian has even created his own word for "Incredibles", since he is still working on his speech development. The word he made up? HI-YAH! (as if you were gonna Karate chop someone)

Incredibly smart, incredibly cute, incredibly strong tempered. I love my incredible son!

Sister-in-love

Wednesday started out like any other day, but ended up like no other. Right around the time that I was sitting down to have my quiet time, my husband called while en route to tell me that his sister was in the hospital and was expected to have emergency surgery later that day. I was worried, no doubt. My mind started to go there. You know, those dark recesses of your mind that hold the fears that you might not even want to admit to yourself, let alone talk about out loud.

At the same time, my eyes were reading through my devotional page....

I need not be afraid

God knows the fears and faith struggles that keep you awake in the night

he wants to bless us

beckons us to leave our fear behind

And the tears were pouring down, people. Because this is a sister-in-law like no other and I don't even want to imagine what my life would be like without her. This probably is sounding pretty dramatic; to the doctors I'm sure it was nothing more than a routine gallbladder removal. But to me, the fear was very real. Probably even more so because I no longer believe the lie that "everything's gonna be okay". I have erased that phrase from my vocabulary because that just isn't something we can be sure of, let alone promise someone else. I used to believe that I was good enough, blessed enough, loved-by-God enough that nothing terrible would ever happen to me. (Crazy, right?) Those things happen to other people. But now that I am other people, these kinds of situations shake me up real good.

In all His wisdom, God allowed this hospital to have Bible verses posted around the hospital that spoke to me throughout the day. His Words brought me the peace that I so desperately needed. The first one was Job 33:4 which I continually prayed over my patient :

The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life.

And the second one (Psalm 145:18), after she came out of surgery with flying colors, was posted right out side her room:

The LORD is near to all who call on him...

And I praised Him for hearing me and for it being in His will to answer how He did.

In the quiet late afternoon, I had some time to reflect on the day. I remembered arriving at the hospital, wanting to see my patient in pre-op, and the nurse asked me if I was a relative.

Yes, I'm her sister.

(And proud of it, too.)

A different nurse actually did ask if we really were sisters. And as we explained our relationship, she commented that those kind of sisters are really the best kind. Because we love one another and are true friends, even though we aren't obligated to by some sense of familial duty.

And during my little quiet time, the only thing that kept me from falling soundly asleep (like the patient) was the beep, beep, beeping of her pulse ox monitor. It might've been utterly annoying to some, but to me the sound was beautiful, reminding me that it belongs to a heart that beats so nearly to my own.

I am one lucky sister-(in-law).

Any one else blessed to have a wonderful sister-in-law?

Sew and Sew: Disney Style

It's been a really long while since my last edition of Sew & Sew. I have been doing more creating, especially lately, so I thought I'd share some of my latest projects, particularly the ones for our upcoming trip to Disney.

I picked some Disney-ish fabrics to make the each of the girls a dress. I prefer the idea of creating the 'look' of Disney, as opposed to using Disney print fabric. These two dresses only required about 4 yards total of fabric, purchased on sale of course! For Sienna's dress I used my "go-to" pattern when it comes to little girls dresses (New Look 6613). I have made probably a dozen dresses from this same pattern with 2 more planned.

 I didn't want the dresses to be exact duplicates of each other, so for Tatiana's dress I chose a slightly more grown-up pattern, which I have used once already (McCall's 5574). I love this style, particularly because of the middle bodice section which allows for lots of fabric mixing & matching. Neither of the patterns called for ruffles at the bottom, so I just measured around the bottom edge and multiplied by 1.5 to get the length (you can do x2 for a fuller ruffle).

 

  

:: frayed fabric flower from this tutorial. For lotsa fabric flower tutorials visit here ::

  

:: detail of Mickey heads added to the ends of the straps. I tried several different methods, but the winner was just to trace/draw a Mickey head on a double layer of fabric, then zig-zag stitch with a really short stitch length (as in applique) around the inside of the tracing, then cut away the extra fabric close to the stitching. ::

  

 :: appliqued Mickey head. I'm not that great at applique, but I'm improving. ::

An old pair of Target jeans get new life as Disney capris!

 

  

:: I had to open up the inside seam of the leg to put on the applique and then sew it back up again. I think they still need "something". Maybe a patchwork belt or something added to the back pockets? ::

:: And just because I couldn't resist. ::