Tuesday, May 12, 2009

In His Arms

Dear Friends,

I think simply saying what I need to say will be best: Olivia is with Jesus now. I had not been feeling her move for the last day and a half, so this morning we went to the hospital just to check. Little Olivia's heart had, in fact, stopped beating here on earth, but we know that her body is whole, healed, and playing in Heaven! It is the miracle that we've all been praying for, even if it doesn't look the way we quite expected.

This morning was so beautifully clear and sunny as we drove to the hospital. Truly majestic. I cherished the peaceful car ride, the blue sky, and His warmth on my face. I told my Lord that He created this day and whatever He had for me, I would accept it. I prayed for immeasurable comfort and peace, as I planned to have confirmed what my heart already knew: Olivia was home.

The last three weeks seem like such a whirlwind and at times, it barely seemed like it was truly my own life that I was living. One prayer that has remained constant for me was for God's mercy. I would cry out to Him and tell Him that I didn't know what that mercy looked like for me, but that I needed it so desperately. And He is so gracious to have heard my prayer and granted me what He knew I needed. I know that tomorrow, once again, I will need His mercy more than ever.

Please pray for our broken hearts during this time and especially for me tomorrow, as I begin the induction process at 6 am. I'm sure it will be one of the longest and most difficult days of my life, not only physically, but for my tender heart as well......as I prepare to say Hello and Goodbye all at the same time.

Most Grateful for Your Prayers~

20 comments:

Stephanie said...

I am crying tears for you, friend. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you must feel right now. God has repeatedly brought you to my mind today and now I see why.

I am praying for you, for God to continue extending His amazing mercy to you as only He can. And praying for your hard journey tomorrow.

If you need ANYTHING, please let me know!

Erin said...

Praying for you dear friend.

Laurie in Ca. said...

Oh Becky,

My heart and prayers are with you. I am so sorry for this to have happened with Olivia. My prayers will be with you all day tomorrow, asking God to make a way for you to bear it. May you feel His arms around you as you face the heartache.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Monica said...

I am so sorry. I have no words so I will share a verse that has been a comfort for me.
John 16:22
Therefore you may now have sorrow, but I will see you again, and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no man can take from you.

Just know that you are in my prayers.

stephanie said...

Our prayers are with both you and your husband during this sad time.I pray God will wrap you in His grace and bring you peace and comfort.

Andrew, Arianna, Liam, and Asher said...

We are definitely praying for you tomorrow! We're so sorry for your loss of Olivia, but so thankful that she is enjoying Jesus even now!

Anonymous said...

Love you and praying for you today. All Day hugs hugs and more hugs.Love
Jori

chadandnikki said...

Sweet mommy. I do and don't know the hurt that you are experiencing right now. I love you so very much. Praying for you all day today, that God will give you what you need.

Beth said...

Oh, Becki. I am so sorry. I woke up very early this morning and prayed for you guys. God will give you the strength you need to get through this and the comfort you need after. Lean on him.

Simply Donna...... said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May God give you peace and comfort.

I am a friend of Nikki and Chad and read your story on her blog this morning.

God Bless!

Laurie in Ca. said...

I am praying for you today as you meet and let Olivia go. I am so sorry sweetie and am asking God to shelter you in His peace and love.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Erin said...

11am-praying for comfort.

Joan Carr said...

Becki,
My heart aches for you also in this time of difficulties, loss and sadness. But heaven just got a bit sweeter for you and your family.I've been talking to the Father abut Nikki and Johanna today and will be adding you and your family to my prayers today.

Lamentations 3:22-23 It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

Hollie said...

Praying for you guys

Christin said...

Oh Becki, my heart grieves so deeply with you. Even as I type this, I can't keep back the tears. It brings back painful memories of my own...and rips at this mother's heart of mine.

One thing that I cling to during those days that I miss the ones that we've lost in utero is this...

One day I'll hear "Well done good and faithful servant" AND "Welcome home, Mom." What a day that will be!

I know there are no human words capable of lessening your pain. So I pray for a tangible manifestation of the Father in that delivery room as you meet little Olivia.

And though it may sound odd, I would encourage you to take a camera...my best friend delivered her heavenly baby at 18weeks. and those pictures bring her healing and comfort and closure.

I'm so sorry. so so sorry.

bella grace photography said...

I too am one that has followed your story now for a few weeks. I am so sorry for the loss of your little Gods wonder. I feel so sad this week with the loss of Kayleigh Freeman and now little Olivia but these two are in heaven now with sweet Jesus.
I will keep your family in my prayers tomorrow as it will be such a sad time for you. Stay stron in your faith. Cherish the sweet time they will allow you to have with her.
I am not sure if you are aware of the professional photographers that are members of Now I Lay me down to sleep, but they would come out an take precious picture if you wanted them to free..they have a sweet web site.
My god hold your hand tomorrow...
Loving prayers to you
Donna

Pamela @ Frugal Vet Tech said...

I found a link from the Little April Rose blog and wanted to let you know I'm praying you as you go through this trying time. May you feel God's love and peace around you.

our family said...

Praying fr peace and comfort for you and your family during this time.
Hugs and PRayers
Rachel

Misty Rice said...

praying......

Holly said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious daughter, Olivia. May God's love and comfort surround you.