Thursday, November 19, 2009

Contrast

At this time last year, I was planning & re-planning my Thanksgiving meal for 20 (plus). I was researching pretty details that would make my guests feel special. I created time-lines, critiqued recipes, crafted handmade invitations, and wrote out grocery lists. I posted about some top traditional recipes. I tried to ignore my husband's incessant teasing about thinking that I might be pregnant. As an almost afterthought, I purchased a pregnancy test along with all my Thanksgiving groceries.

It all seems like it was yesterday.

I feel like I have lost an entire year of my life. The last 365-ish days feel blurry, except for some details that just don't seem to fade. And as I sit at the same desk, in the same chair, typing away at the same keyboard to post on the same blog about the same holiday, things feel like anything but the same.

And so, even though we are planning on having a few guests here in just one week's time, I have planned not a single detail. Nothing. Nada. A stark and revealing contrast to just one year ago. And at times, when considering the current state of my life, I don't feel very thankful, which makes a holiday called 'Thanksgiving' seem...not appropriate. But God is gracious to continually point me towards small things to be thankful for. I guess, at the very least, I can be really thankful that I did so much research last year and posted on this very blog! I even saved all my Thanksgiving notes and plans into handy dandy Microsoft Word files, which I might add, I have never done in the past.

Thank God for planning ahead.

Even if I didn't know what I had coming.



How are your Thanksgiving plans coming along? Any great Thanksgiving websites/blog posts I should check out?


6 comments:

Heather said...

I don't know if I have ever commented on your blog or not, but I have read through every single post on it. I can only imagine what everything over the past year felt like, and how much it all still hurts.

I hope your holiday will be full of laughter and smiles, even if just for a few hours.

As for Thanksgiving items, I have some crafts & recipes on my blog:

http://theherberfamily.blogspot.com/2009/11/thanksgiving-crafts-treats.html

http://theherberfamily.blogspot.com/2009/11/thanksgiving-indian-corn.html

stephanie said...

OK, did you take the pregnancy test?
HELLO!!
As for your Thanksgiving meal. It will be delicious and your table will look like something out of a magazine. I want to see pictures.
And as far as not feeling thankful, I know you will find something to be thankful for, and most likely write a beautiful post about it.
And last but not least, I am thankful for you!

Peaceful Chaoz said...

Praying for you this holiday season. Love you and thankful for your sweet heart.

PS. To those that didn't understand, the pregnancy test was part of last years Thanksgiving ;0)

Rebecca said...

@Heather: Thank you for following my blog and for your kind words. I can't wait to check out your blog for ideas.

@Steph: That was last Thanksgiving when I became pregnant with Olivia. Sorry if I lost you there.

@Peaceful: You're always looking out for me. You're the best!

chadandnikki said...

It hasn't been a year yet for me, but I also feel like a totally different person. It's funny how God uses life to change us. I'm praying for both of us this holiday season. I'm praying for joy and laughter through the tears.

Stephanie said...

I can't imagine how hard it is to come across the yearly reminders like this. Praying for you, friend.

And I have great plans for Thanksgiving and can't wait. :)