Thawed.

I vividly recall last winter. Driving down country roads cocooned in grey clouds. Overcast skies matching a slightly frigid heart. I clung to winter knowing that Spring represents life, cheer, sunshine and the last thing I was feeling was sunny. And now, it's happening again. Change. The thermometer slowly creeping up, the world around me thaws. I thaw. Slush and mud will soon turn to green teeming with life that has been hidden within and beneath. Blue skies reappear, although, they've been there all along. It's just that now the clouds are parting.

And this year I've found that I'm clinging less. I did relish the last grey day. My bits of melancholy will always find a home in the winter. And although with Spring comes haunting memories, I am looking forward. Ahead. To another season, more growth, blue skies, and blinding sunshine. To a full heart, joy unexplainable, blessings aplenty.

I'll probably even smile and put on my sunglasses.

The Good Word

The good word is that we were approved for our Safe Families homestudy and are now officially a Safe Family! We could get a phone call any day about a child needing a temporary place to stay. My heart stutters into an irregular pattern every time the phone rings. CAH-RAZY, I tell ya. Because of our geographic location (rural outskirts of the two major metropolitan areas where the SF offices are located), it seems that we might not get as many placements as if we lived in "the city", but we will be open to whatever He has in store for us.

There are lots of online training videos to work through, which I am doing a little at a time. I am still amazed at the working model of being the "extended family" to these biological moms. Can you imagine being a single mom of a few little ones, living at or below poverty level, in a city where you have no family, no support, no one to come along side you? Imagine you get seriously ill, lose your job, or get in a car accident with no aunt, cousin, or stable close friend to call in your time of need? Alone. Lonely. Scared. Depressed. Hopeless. Homeless.

How often do I take for granted that help is just a phone call away?! A large cushion of family and friends just standing by. I am *seriously* so blessed and I realize it more and more every day.

Exciting News...

...no, I'm not pregnant. But to me, the news is just as good. 

Tonight will be a big step in an exciting direction for our little family. We are having our homestudy to become a host family for Safe Families! Even before we both met nearly a decade-and-a-half ago, the Husband and I have felt a pull on our heartstrings for hurting children and have felt drawn toward foster care. God has prepared our marriage to take on this added task and a part of me even feels that this might be some of the "goodness" coming out of our suffering in losing Olivia. Now that our youngest (living child) is 3 1/2 and our hearts have healed immensely, we felt it was time to move forward under His direction.

"State welfare emergency hotlines throughout the nation reportedly receive over 5 million calls each year of suspected child abuse or neglect. Of those calls, about one million meet the criteria for state intervention. What happens to the remaining four million families that don't qualify for help? "

Safe Families is similar to foster care in that we will be providing care for a child(ren) on a temporary basis. However, SF is not governed by the state and the biological parent retains their parental rights. They are placing their child in care of the safe family voluntarily. This could be because they are finding themselves temporarily homeless, in drug rehab, having another baby with no other family nearby to help, hospitalized for surgery, etc.

I have been working over-time to prepare our home. We put away the little guy's toddler bed and the Husband assembled his big boy bed & trundle. I have decluttered, reorganized and cleaned. But today.....today, I am slowing down. I am praying and preparing my heart. Good enough will have to be just that. Good enough. Because my inside is more important than my home's inside.

If you think of it this evening, would you pray for our homestudy? That everything would go smoothly. For the child that needs a safe place to rest. That soon enough, he would be laying his head on a pillow under our roof.

Be Blessed!